Thursday, June 29, 2006

first final crit..

Damn it man. Was so sleepy today that i almost got into accident for like 3 times today.. My life's at stake.. hehe.. Slept I think around 3am last night 'coz I can hardly open my eyes & head was spinnning like nobody's biz.. rushing off my first final crit postcards with the so-called 'concept' from our cherating trip on how we felt & all. Just post up a few.. Kinda lazy... =P

my first thought before the trip was like.. hmm.. will i enjoy it? or will it be some boring old school excursion again?? mixed emotions but yet kinda looking forward for it..
first site visit - impiana resort. Though I don't like the resort so much but still have to compile a postcard for it. The rooms, fascilities.. yuCkk!!! The suite - normal malay vernacular stylo.. RM800 bucks.. yet the interior is SO lousy!! Pls.. don't go stay there ppl!! trust me... not worth the price...
icebreakers.. 5 games by the beach in an hour half.. we crammed everything up 'coz we checked in late... unexpectedly.. i was one of the group leaders.. hehehhe

Guy1 - kelvin (lecturer), 2 - Archi Deg Student, 3 - SuKoh (lecturer), 4 - Boo (Archi Junior)
Sand-castle in making... My group won!!! Our theme - Lord of the Rings.. hehhe

Guess what is this?!?! hahaha.. we made it.. but this particular 'one' belongs to one of the archi juniors.

The final postcard... our memoirs there.. mostly is my class people...
(more to come, on the cherating full post)

Ok. So what our final design is about?? Our own course-mates will be our client. We have to swap our postcards (accordingly to how redzwan's deciding) and we have to imply their feelings into our final design, which is 'a place to stay'. Something small hotel or lodge that separates u from the hassle town into an inviting space that is calming n relaxinggg...The site is at Changkat Bukit Bintang opposite Frangipani.
The swapping thingy really made me think how is he gonna fix our 'clients'. He said he was watching us over the cherating trip & will discuss with the rest of the faculty before spilling it to us. And so BLooDY DAMmITtt.. I kena TUNG!!!!

Walau!! Of all people him.. even he admitted he has thinking problems which is WEIRDD!!!!
And he pulak go curi my pic from friendster to copyright my face into mona lisa.. KNS!!!
Sheeeshhh.. Others told me.. "No worries.. only u can control him in class without offending him".. hahaha.. Darnn.. anyway.. decisions were made.. So NOW back to bloody work.. Deadline for final presentation is mid of Aug & I'm worried to hell alreadyyY!!!!!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

To you, I poured myself out… part 2

What could have been mine?? part 2

Sometimes a part of me just want to scream out loud because I just want it so much.. And a part of me is already giving up. Why? If I know why, I wouldn't end up where I am & how I am feeling today..

Sometimes.. when the thing just doesn’t come to u no matter how much effort u put in, it'll NEVER belong to u. So just sit at the corner n bloody start sulking. Reminder : It's not the end of the world, but it sure feels like it.

Sometimes thinking & thinking.. Do I really have to be in this situation??! I have a choice to make. It is MY decision but why am I still holding back~!? Why do I still hope for some miracles to happen when the truth is already pasted right on my forehead?!?!? Cause I just couldn't just let all go & act as if nothing happened.

Sometimes I wonder. Suddenly cold, suddenly hot.. it's driving me nuts!! I'm already half a nut and it's like it's making me nuttier. Sheeshhh.. Killing all my brain cells, Grabbing my attention away from the reality world, pulling into my world and shoved my gravity there. Seriously I don't wanna stuck or just live in my own dreamy-land where everything goes in the way as how I wish it to be. I want to believe in reality but it just hurts. Hurts till I'm numb all the way through. That's why I didn't want to start at the first place, it's uncontrollable & it’s getting out of handd..

Sometimes it lets me down, sometimes I really break down. Sometimes it's remarkable like how u change me faster than the damn weather report. Yet why do I feel so sick in my stomach? Why do I feel I'm goin to fall into a deep sleep where you no longer don't exist? Whyy?!

Sometimes I just want to know the truth!! Directions!! Want to know its thoughts!! I don't live my entire life merely waiting for rejection. I need hints. Probably I'm getting hints, it's just that I ain't wanna believe it. Spill it!!~

I am real inside. But not out.
I am gutless.

Monday, June 26, 2006



Tuesday, June 20, 2006

To you, I poured myself out… part 1

What could have been mine?? part 1

For the last recent days, I wasn't that much of myself. Mind drifting towards superfluous things. Haha.. I’m not like this often, just sometimes I ought to think too much out of the box. Why of all the sudden? Cos of the things I've saw, heard, and feel..

Was standing outside Secret Recipe that day at Cheras, looking for my car keys, this girl was crying to her friends. I'm sorry to eavesdrop but she suddenly blubbered out loud, “2 years!!! Now he dumped me because his friends said I'm fat & ugly”...

I tell you.. She’s not THAT fat.. not THAT pretty just typical chinese look.. but.. UrGHh!! Though it was none of my biz, but I saw red. How typical of guys nowadays. I understand humans are always stereotyped but.. I mean.. seriously.. do looks really matter that much comparable to inner beauty.. You can't expect every girl to be stick-thin, model-features & all, then where all the fat girls gonna go?? Looks don’t last but inner do. He will say 'what lies beneath' Reality bites, girls. It's just all sweet talk. What is love nowadays? Last time, love is so incomparable. Love is perhaps too large/deep to be understand/describe by words, but in this context love is: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth. Now? Love is purely lust. Girlfriends or boyfriends are not something you bring out to your friends to promote.. but they're someone special to you that drastically brings a whole new stir in you.. Call me 'kolot'. I felt so sad.

Like some things that you desire for so much is just right in front of you, you reached out your hand but you just keep couldn't reach onto it. You longed for it, it's just there.. but yet you couldn't touch it.. Gosh... the feeling really sucks. Whether I've experienced this or not, it's a secret. =P

Like I've said in my earlier post... When we have the chance to desire it, we refused it utterly.. When the chance is all vanished, then we'll hope for its return. Why? You know, sometimes things or people around us who love us, we take it for granted.. but when it’s gone for good, then only you feel the loss. If you really want it.. take it.. just take it, hold it & love it.. you won’t find the same him/her twice..

- Before you can even get it, you lose it.
- When you're in high chance in getting it, you withdraw.
- When you had it, you threw it away, then you cry...

The feeling of longing and losing is overbearing... I hate to lose someone. I hate the feel of deep prick in my heart. For me, I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, dumped, break-ups, yelled-at, jokes, love, compliments, critics everything. I'm like a cry baby.. Too emotional.

I feel I'm going to lose someone, the feeling in me.. is sinking n sinking n sinking.. let's say it's like he's there everyday, for you, with you, by you.. just suddenly the next day he ain't there anymore. What difference does it made the world? Nothing. Nothing changed, life still goes on, the wind still gushing, sun still as bright every morning but the feeling of emptiness, the falling in me, the insecurities, the misery, the grief, the hurt, emotionally damaged.. just made me cry till I can cry no more. I don’t know how to cry any longer. Losing something you like, it's like you'll keep missing it, keep thinking of it, keep wanting it back but yet you know it's truly impossible. It's just that you walking further away. The numbness, the huge dent in me that just couldn’t cure. You made me feel you, want to be with you but of all the sudden you withdraw yourself from me. Holding you yet not feeling you. Why??

Is this love? Or just any liking business?
Ask me why I want to fall in love?
Simple.. because I want to be loved.
Conscience keep telling me, I'm going to lose you..
For real?

Sunday, June 18, 2006

poem? hehe

You are all I've wanted!

You’re the thought that starts each morning,
The conclusion to each day.
You are in all that I do,
And everything I say.

You’re the smile on my face,
The twinkle in my eye.
The warmth inside my heart,
The fullness in my life.

You’re the hand that’s laced in mine,
And the coat upon my back.
My friend, my love,
My shoulder to lean on.

You’re my silly, mature, caring,
Thoughtful, bright, and honest guy.
The one who holds me tightly,
When I need to cry.

You’re the dimple in my cheek,
The ever-constant tingle in my soul.
The voice that makes me weak,
The happiness of my life.

You are all I’ve wanted,
You are all I need.
You are all I’ve dreamed of,
You are all of this to me.

.: nice one.. got it from Fern Nee's blog. June 14, 2006 :.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

first date

yesterday.. a day to cherish?... or not??
a day to remember?... or not?...
another new day to long for?... or not?...
just let me know..
don't keep me guessing..

Monday, June 12, 2006


Humans are weird.
When they have the chance to desire it, they refused it utterly..
When the chance is all vanished, then they’ll hope for its return..
But why?
Try to appreciate the whole lot around you…when you have the chance as you wouldn’t know when you’ll lose it.
Perhaps.. anytime..

Sunday, June 11, 2006


facing with a bunch of eFF-kers everyday, will that makes me a eFF-ker too????????

how do you think I'm feeling now?~?!?!?!??!?

Since When Is Affection A Crime?

Since When Is Affection A Crime?
Siow Ai Wei and Ooi Kean Thong 1 June 2006
Due to my lack of reading the papers, I happened to tune in Flora's blog - Spineless Law. Serious shit. How can this even be happenin'? Not allowed to show any affection towards one another in the public here.. right here in KL. Sheeshhh!!. No kissing, no hugging and definitely no holding hands. Well, according to DBKL, they think that we Malaysia will find it offensive.. (while everybody on the street is like practically doing it.. even the Ma(s) ) A real law existed? or just a fraud????

The Sun, the nation's only free national daily (from KataGender)

Friends outta there.. stop friendly hugs, holding hands, kissing in public if you don wanna end up in bribery, fines & jails. Oh ya.. and i mean.. only LOCAL friends.. Foreigners' friends & all angmohs I know, kiss all you want in public k.. Thanks ya... Dumb rules..!!~~

ANyway.. sad casee!!~ It's not like you're having sex out public. Even if there's such scenario, bet everyone crowd & see.. How typical KPC Malaysians can be..

You really ought to read the full story, log into these site


Saturday, June 10, 2006


I'm starting to miss that someone more & more as days passed by.. and it ain't a good thing to happen. Damn. I don't think I got the 'enough' courage to face it.
I guess.

Thursday, June 08, 2006


help me find the

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Rome through the Eyes of the Wicked Architect

Today suKOH's afternoon class (Theories of Interior Architecture) was quite interesting though the fact I was quite sleepy after lunch. Last week was about this Classicism Era guy - Leon Battista Alberti who is the first man who wrote the first 10 books on The Art of Building 1442 - 1452 & Theories on How to build Buildings. Some of this works such as Tempio Malatestiano, Rimini (1446); Arch of Constantine; Sta. Maria Novella, Florence (1458) & etc. Was interesting but wasn't that attention-grabbing than today's topic Romantic Era man - Giovanni Battista Piranesi. For me, at least.

Rome through the Eyes of the Wicked Architect
He was the architect who devoted his entire life to drawings instead of building
Why was he important?
Most outspoken architectural polemicist who believed absolutely in the supremacy of Roman over Greek Architecture (Pro-Roman vs. NeoClassisist)
Giovanni Battista Piranesi was a major Italian printmaker, architect and antiquarian. The son of a Venetian master builder, he studied architecture and stage design, through which he became familiar with Illusionism.

The Giovanni Battista Piranesi potrait by Felice Polanzani (1720 - 1778)
(my first glance when suKoh show us.. I thought he looked like Mr. Bean.. hehe)

Reality vs. Fantasy. “Campo Marzio”
a. Familiar classical shapes & forms -eg. Centralized objects, piazzas, porticoes, circuses, baths, axes and symmetry all arranged in a logic of the ancient Roman way.
b. Mausoleo Andriano / Hadrians mausoleum – but the surroundings, don’t exist.
c. Deliberately depicting his subject in accurately.
d. As a antiquarian/archaeologist,
e. Documentation and Recomposing a city or parts of a city through the understanding of ancient forms, - inventive, imaginative,
f. His work bounces between reality and fantasy

Antichita Romane & Vedute di Roma (‘Un-Romantic’)
a. Miniscule Human Figures – tiny people, in comparison to the buildings, magnifies and exaggerates the monuments, part of the glorification of the ancient architecture
b. Overgrowth of Vegetation. Enormous scale, overpowering the ruins and human figures. Nature taking over humanity or our built environment are subject to time and natural forces – Helplessness.
c. Birds Eye View; exaggerate the grandeur of the monuments – glorification
d. Un-Romantic- In comparison to his contemporaries, one that paints a more accurate depiction of the current social and political condition.
This schism between Reality and Fantasy, is the main ingredient in Piranesi’s work.

St. Maria del Privratom Avenline Hill, Rome

Beneath the surface of exaltation and glorification, one finds a different side depicting the longing or reminiscent of the architect for the past, subliminally suggesting the sense of dark, melancholy, despair and hopelessness. This irony opens up a discussion of what these etchings or drawings mean. Through his works, we will discover a schism that continually plays in Piranesi’s work that bounces between reality and fantasy, one that suggest the thought of negative thinking.
Le Carceri. (The Prisons)
The observer’s point of view is not from an ‘exterior’ view, but rather an ‘interior’ view. The observer is in Prison himself.
Sigh.. By doing more researches on him myself & with suKoh's clear explanation & elaboration, I really find this guy very interesting. I mean, his whole life, he was so devoted to all his drawings rather than buildings. And I really like the way he draw though his stle was more on negativity, the dark side, evil & scary. If you observe nicely, most of his drawings in his drawings are framed. Well, there was a reference on his works - VIDEO: Yo Yo Ma Inspired by Bach, The Second Cello Suite. Cool.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

a sudden penang trippp...!!!~~

Suddenly?!?! I'm off to Penang?!?!? - PART 1 -

Wednesday night.. Suddenly pulak my dad asked me if I got class on Friday.. cos normally Friday I've got no class (only Monday till Thursday), but sometimes got replacement class or site visits.. Sigh.. he told me say wanna go to Penang for like 3 days, 2 nights if I can make in on Friday.

I was like... "Huh??? Going Penang? Why for??.... "
Mom said.. "Go do ur nose la.. and ur brother's.. at the same time bring them go hols.."
- "What?! What's with my nose? Still breathin' wat.."
She said.. "Ur sensitive nose la.. every morning also flow none stop.."
- "Aisehh.. that was years ago la.."
So.. still hav to go. My friend say there's a good Chinese 'sifu' who can cure nose allergy.. duno how he does it, but smoke ur nose and worms will pop out..."
- "WHaaATTt???? Gile ke?? worms pop out? smoke my nose??!??! serious shitss??!? Where can believe 1... Narhh.. i'm not goin.. crazyy"
Dad "GO! better cure it before it's too late.. that time my friend operated his nose.. do u want that??"
- shuts up jorr.... =P -
Mom smiledd..... :~(

Reached there.. At Bukit Mertajam. I was seriously freaking out ok!!! I mean smoking into my nose.. sheeshh.. even when u fag u'r like exhaling it out.. this is like.. EIUuuUUU!!!! and the wormsss!??!?!? eeee!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~
Address : 84A, Bunga Raya Road,
14000 Bukit Mertajam, Pulau Pinang.

1. on the vase base.. he placed a piece of hot 'metal' look-alike
2. poured some herb powder thingy then some 'oil' on it
3. smoke gushed out immediately...
4. he closed it with that coconut shell with that tube thingy...
5. inhale with ur nose.. then exhale out by blowing into that 'tube' with coconut shell..
6. lift up the shell, u'll see worms on the vase base (if u hav allergy or sensitive nose larr)

OK... after the treatment.. I was quite relieved.. It wasn't that disgusting as I've expected. Have to take daily pills & cream. It's ok le.. At least I won't feel the worm from my mouth out.. just smoke.. But the feeling after the treatment is like after u fag.. the smoke still stays in ur nostrils.. but not as smelly as the tobacco le..

So moved on to Penang.. lazy to elaborate.. but throughout the whole 'stay-out' in Penang.. it was all temples.. My dad.. superstitious buddhist man.. hehehe..

Temple 1 - where u can free birds up sky high.. (but hav to pay le, 1 bird 3 bucks)

Temple 2 - the snake temple (i feel geli lerr.. everywhere u can suddenly find snake.. though they're tamed.. but still.. they're snakes okk!! gimme a breakk!!!)

again.. temple..

Temple 3 - Kek Lok Si.. (nice bronze guanyin statue overlooking the whole Penang.. the 4 pillars under constructing are to build up way high as a shelter for the statue)

temple againnn!!!

Temple 4 - Thean Hou Kong (err.. not sure which temple this is.. it's under the hainan association of penang.. located a row ahead the Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion...)
still got other temples.. lazy to load.. heheh

At night.. so coincidently, we met up with a float occasion. The 'Cheah' Association was having their 12th world's anniversary or something.. Not so sure.. Couldn't get much pics but got the video.. =P

What I really like about Penang is their colonial classical houses?? Everywhere you go, you can see.. For me.. it was really fascinating.. try imagine.. how everything was like back then where everyone or mostly the rich Englishmen were staying there.. with their pu-pu cars.. hehhhe.. cutee.. Now they restored it & kinda renovate them into like bridals', studios, clubs, restaurants, galleries.. Some of the government offices are so much way cooler than how they looked in KL.. hehe..

The moment I loved most was by the beach... Teluk Bahang....
the sky so vast and blue, so soothing.. so freee....
And quench its speed in the slushy sand.
Then a mile of warm sea-scented beach...
the sun coming out of the clouds, and warming my soul...
Waves gushing, wind carried.. taking me away far far awayy from my complications...
I wrote your name in the sand,but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,and forever it will stay..........................

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Hotel California Interpretation

Hotel California Interpretation
My minor (concept design) assignment sketches that I've handed in last Wednesday. Well, these are my interpretation of the Hotel California lyrics.

- my anecdote -
One late night..
a drunken man walked out of a bar, recklessly
shoved himself into his car.. driving,
heading towards nowhere,
naively off the normal path home.

He saw a light, so bright that blinded his eyes..
Everything went instant black.

he was standing right in front of a big mirror,
a castle-look entrance, next to his wrecked car.

Thinking to himself, 'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell..'

He walked and entered into a world that is….
surprisingly unfound… and waiting for him…


To discover back his own world..
everything is in his hands..

Whaddaya think?? Hehe.....