am i the emo perfectionist?

once upon my past..

2011-12-20T23:32:00.001+08:00

what a love/hate friend said did get me thinking for awhile.
pretty similar to what I have always been thinking to myself but hearing it from someone straight..
words just bang you like a gust of windd.. the feeling just.. simply.. different. a little empty too.
i do wonder how i have become who i am today.. personality wise at least..
i was once called very naive and blur but who i am today.. i earned them.
for being so-called tough and independent are what i am striving for almost 7 years.
a year with Alvin changed my entire life, it was a very bad experience which tears can still easily flow anytime when i think back of the past. not because of him, but i felt very stupid of the actions and sacrifices i did.. decisions i've made.. i pity my past self.

since him, life ain't quite the same. it's like a hard slap waking you up like welcome to the fugly world.
i learnt the bad way to stand on my own feet, be passionate with what i like doing, setting life goals to achieve.. at least am still trying to achieve now. not giving up yet. complaints, emo moments, temperamental screamings are just part and parcel of everyday life facing the evil stress. a way of de-stressing.. i want to prove to myself that i can do something out of me. life is so short and fragile that sometimes it's not even enough to live in. there's so much i wish i can do but counting forward, just not enough time. i may sound selfish that i want to have a lot of things but i am not greedy in wanting things that i know are out of my league. i want my family to live better and i want myself to live a good life. I have not met anyone special in particular that can provide me with sense of security hence I cannot just sit here not doing anything waiting for his arrival right? i have to know how to live my own life. be independent.

am I surrounded with my subconscious walls that I literally did not know I build?
i am one who like to express myself emotionally.. spitting words right out of my mind which ended me up with either more friends or foes. i am not vengeful that's for sure. dramatically? maybe but not exaggerating.
romantically wise is definitely history. i no longer know how love felt like. how butterflies squeezing through the long intestines. i dare not trust what others have to say. romantic words, sweet talks are so far away from me. flirting is altogether a different thing comparing to how-i-know-he's-my-one thing.
i am not stating that i do not need a man in my life. I do. i want to have my own family. I want a perfect life, who doesn't? I just want a moderate very happy family. need not to have a villa on top of the hill, Barbie's Ken as husband, kids with Albert's IQ.. i just want... to be happy. and satisfied with life.

I do feel very lonely at times when i'm sad, tired and need someone to listen to me, to pamper me, to just give me a hug and tell me things will be fine. that person is always never there. 7 years is very long. very very long. to the extend, i almost believe romance will be the last thing that will ever happen in my life.

Patience is dying.

a quickie project

2011-12-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

One of the projects I'm working on..
A quick one that took less than 2 months to complete the whole proposal process and fit-out works.
Handover of the unit estimated to be by next Wednesday, I hope, providing there aren't any more changes or add-ons.

after many rounds of amendments.. we shall see how the final outcome might turn out to be..

tell me what to do

2011-12-17T10:49:00.001+08:00

I really do not know what she wants from me.
This wrong, that wrong, everything I do or say is wrong wrong wrong.
See me then get all snappish.. grumpy.
When I'm not there, she'll get all lovey with the rest..
the sight of me really disgust her that much huh?
I am at home too often that she thinks I'm a jobless freak that have to only oblige to her errands?
I am working, I have a company, I am sort of like a freelancer who is in a very busy industry.
There's a lot of things that I need to do. Why can she try to understand?
It's not like I never run her errands before. Nothing I do is ever enough.

So hard to consider?

feeling like a bitch

2011-12-15T11:41:00.005+08:00

It's so freaking frustratinggg sometimes..
You might be wondering how could some people be sooo unreasonably selfish with their actions and yet still act as if there was nothing wrong about it or in fact they thought they were appropriate actions.
Whatthefuckkk man!!

A diamond in the Rough.

2011-12-04T22:03:00.001+08:00

Louise agreed to go with me for the Aladdin musical at Sunway.
Been an avid fan with all sorts of musical. Yay.
The last musical I truly enjoyed was to fly all the way to Singapore and caught Lion King. *click*
The stage was small but the show was magnificient.
I can't wait for Aladdin.
Better way to spend our free time rather than window-shopping or movie marathon at home right?

I was googling bout this show after Huay-Pin told me it was okay to watch.. and i found that they're having a contest for the best caption stated for one of their fb image. *click*
Hopefully I can win some. Haha. The last time i won a contest was to Il Volo's showcase at Bentley.
The feeling of triumph over the radio station was overwhelming though it was a small win. *grins*

*fingers crossed*

such a nervous-wreckk

2011-11-27T12:56:00.001+08:00

Arhhh... I hope I will feel better after spilling this out.

Yup. It's totally another panic-attack! Fark.
One of those many many days where I am just numbstruckkk.. if such a word exist.
Not feeling numb of pins and needles but more like..
every phrase/question outta of me begins with Fuck.
Questions kept running in my head eversince I woke up like 3 hours ago.
Kept thinking of might-have-or-might-not-have stuff in my head and yes all related to WORK.

I hate my job sometimes. Too many things to consider, too many important decision to make, too many people to control and handle with, too many fake smiles to throw out too.. some told me it's all parts n parcel of life but then some babes do not have to go through all these hassle to get a good life. so why meeee? okay maybe I am just babbling and not thinking straight here but sometimes i do envy those tai-tai's life, evening hi-tea, acting bimbo all the time, shopping 24/7 and and andd.. wait..
I DO LOVE MY JOB!!! but-buttt the depression, frustration and anger that I have to go through.. really really ticked me off all the time!!! I hate my job.. ARghhh see I don't even know if I love or hate my job. What a wreck!!
Yeah, was telling Sarah bout my nervous breakdown earlier and she thinks I'm getting some serious shit "cold feet" before my wedding day kind-of-attitude. *grins* i hope.

I have this project. Not to say very big or such-a-big-of-a-deal..
but somehow I just panicked.
Some stresses that I myself do not comprehend. I hate that architect btw.
He makes my life miserable.
Or are architects all anallish, or they always like to act "like-jack dawson-standing-at-the-bow-of-the-ship-screaming-I'm THE king of the world-nonsense?
Anyway, that's totally a different chapter from this post.

Back to my unnecessary unexplainable panic-attack.. I still kept thinking..
Am I good for the job? Am I doing the right things? What to do next? How to handle? Am I on the right track? Will everything turn out okay? What if I screw it up? What if I make a wrong decision? What if What if all-the-wayyyy..... *grunts*

I know I have to do this first then do that later and thaat thatt thaaattt in the end..
but somehow my mind is jumbling everything up.. whatthefuckkk!! I know!! argh..
Like I don't even know how to make a priority list!!
I need to relax.. and chill.. and slowly plan things through. Okay not too slow 'cos I ain't got that much time but at least get things straighten out and start commencing on one by one whichever the priority list runs on.

I'm feeling sooo lethargic today.
Thanks to my blocked nose and sky-high fever temperature.
Is that why i'm going gaga today? I never felt this way in such a long time.
Anxiety Disorder.
Will I suffer a psychological collapse? *faints*

God pls help clear my monsoon mind.

forensickeninggg

2011-11-26T17:09:00.001+08:00

I just finished TVB's Forensic Heroes 3. *click*
All main cast and characters are totally different. I really like the Season 1 & 2's bunch of characters expecially Charmaine Sheh and Bobby Au-yong..
but Season 3's aint that bad either.
New casts creates a "fresher" feel.. I like Wayne Lai and Kate Tsui. Hehee.

One of the dramas that you can watch over and over again...
no matter whichever episodes you choose from.
It's a bit slow though the storyline, I mean, as like almost 3 episode to solve 1 case.
Nevertheless, overall I like it.. I'm watching episode 8 again. Haha.

But....to compared to CSI NY, my all-time favourite!!~
CSI still rocks, BIG time!!~~

my stubborn diva nose

2011-11-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

oh flu.. i hate you...
can you pls go away.. like literally get lost...
ahhhhhhh hate the blocked breathingggggg...
Feeling so damn lethargic now. Tons of work piling up for the weekend.
I can't get sick. Sheeshhh.. *stressed*
Argh you're such a diva, you NOSE!!

Louise and my Eiffel

2011-11-24T01:20:00.001+08:00

Was wearing my favourite bracelet from one of my dearest girlfriends.
Louise gave me Thomas Sabo for my 27th birthday after delaying for few months. =P
She added a charm of Paris Eiffel Tower, meaning to say she has literally "no money" to fly me to Paris and hope this charm will satisfy me for now. Haha.

Yup that's Louise.

Oh well, that explains it. Funny people do funny unexplainable things at times.

Took with PopBooth App with her Ipad.

Good times last. yay.

passport photo ok?

2011-11-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

*grins*

Make a good passport photo, huh?

5-Nov-2011

I was bored in our hotel suite in Penang.

Had to have fun to un-bore ourselves.

And this was my masterpiece. =P

me no see well. oh no.

I dress in balsamic today.

2011-11-13T23:37:00.000+08:00

Haven't been working this weekend.

Was overcoming my "emo-breakdown" and yeah being plain lazy.

I filtered and clean my laptop's desktop screen, deleted over 20G of rubbish.

Rearranged my project list, site photos, drawing numbers etc etc.

And well at the same time, still watching Glee. Started on Season 2 already.

Cheerful watching this TV Series, seriously made me laugh with glee and also chills ran up and down my spine watching them sing really love ballads and old classics.

Wow, love 'em.

Did almost everything with my laptop today and well, yesterday too but just no work.

Oh wait, I did one 3D view last night at wee hours but took me like just 2 hours to complete that simple task and emailed to my client by this morning.

I'm so so so plain lazy when it comes to do work related WORK.

Visited my babysitter's brother who was diagnosed with Miller Fischer Syndrome.

Sigh breaks my heart. Seeing elderly (but not so elderly yet, perhaps in 50s) getting all sorts of illness and stuff.. just made me appreciate life a little bit more these days. Have tons of funny thoughts running through my mind as I was doing my daily routine, talking to the people I talk everyday, caring bout the people I care all my life, trying to accept new people into my life without much selfish hesitation. I just want to be happy and free.

Anyway, though I kept saying that i'm very lazy today, but I made dinner for my sister and me. Parents and lil brother attending my far-far-far cousin's wedding at Equatorial KL.

Sister will be attending her first SPM exam tomorrow. *fingers crossed* Do well, girl.

Dinner I made tonight. Salad with cheese, garlic ham and balsamic sauce as sides..

and Pasta in Creamy Mushroom and Onion as main.

One plate for both of us girls tonight and damn were we full. *grins*

We finished the entire tupperware of salad. Onion was kinda overpowering tho.

Cooking is fun when food tasted good or well, edible and no complaints.

Till then.

xoxo

nothing dissolves with oblivious

2011-11-12T13:24:00.001+08:00

yeah I don't get it sometimes.
I'm watching Glee now at the same time typing-in this post.
Trying to be glee, I guess.

I have a conversation with this particular "Mary" who do have huge impact in my life.
Hate the way Mary thinks of me sometimes. Full of negativity and pessimistic, Mary said.
Well not in exact words, but yeah NEGATIVE is always the "essence" to her preach.

I am not declaring myself as negative because I just want to be prepared. Pessimistic is so not right to describe my expressing opinions. I know we have to be optimistic at times, that's correct but not all the time because we have to be alert to whatever issues that you might face as nothing in the real world is like fairytale where everything end with happily ever after. We are not living Disney characters.

Aih I'm so not good in putting this metaphorically but I need to get it out.

Anyway, there's always an issue but I'll speak up my opinion but Mary will assume I'm being all not supportive and throwing poison ivy. I'm just stating the Pro and Cons and yes the consequences; in a very polite manner but.. YES!! BUT again.. but Mary only sees the Pro she proclaims and so-called Cons that she thinks are not valid. Not everything is to what one thinks, pls stand in all sorts of perspectives before you draw a conclusion so strong that we just have to obey to and case closed; no comments as we're be ~~accused~~ (ok too strong of a word) assumed we're being pessimistic. There are things that are right to your face but you're just too oblivious about it or maybe you just want things to go your way OR you just ignore their existence and thinking "Nah not happening.."

I've been in those shoes. I know what it is like, the fit, the effort, the responsibilities, the burden and sometimes peer pressure that you might think it's nothing. Not worth? then ignore la. Come on life ain't just about cutting people away or crossing them out with expensive your Mont Blanc pen. Life is about accepting and finding a way out that at the end of the day you won't be the one feeling sorry for yourself. If everything or everyone follows you around mimicking all your action and personality, that's probably your clone. I am sad. Depressed can be used to describe me sometimes.

I sit down sometimes and reflect of things that I've done previously or how I wish I could have done it differently and all those IF and SHOULD-HAVE will start to flood in. But then a friend once told me, one failure in the past will be your future success, simply because you need to realise your mistake and not repeat it again, in fact do something even better. With all Mary's assumption and pessimistic opinion about my negativity makes me very insecure sometimes. With one nod or sigh will affect my feelings. Sounds emotional ey? Mary's one great person that has such huge impact on me because I want her to be proud of me. I am sure she is but the way she's promoting them is quite tearing me up. Compliments won't hurt from time to time but ignorance will. I am not some strong shield that can protect my fragility from canon balls comments.

I just hate the feeling of being assumed before hearing me out and then makes me feel so so so insecure with myself. I'll have doubts with decision I have to make. I may look like I do have confidence, but sometimes it's faked. I need real confidence to boost myself up. Life's a stageplay.

Amber and her 11.11.11

2011-11-11T02:11:00.000+08:00

Mommy, Baby and Daddy.

Happy small family of 3.

Strawberry Milk, Mommy, Baby Aden & his Old Date, yours truly. =P

Happy Birthday Aunty Amber!!

Her first year celebrating as a Mommy to Baby Aden.

Red Velvet Cake from La Manila.

"Getting a huge bite!!"

Oh damn

2011-11-01T01:13:00.001+08:00

Ok I admit that somehow out of nowhere I miss him quite a bit lately even though I do not know why. I'm terrified too; it's like whatthefuckwentwrongwithme!!??

Felt better?
Err.. Nah.

i feel emo now.

2011-11-01T00:49:00.001+08:00

Guess this week will be one of those badly-affected emo days.
It's like me asking myself repeatedly. "What the hell are you thinking?"
Be patience. It's fine to have none at the moment.

Oh work is not so "passionate" lately.
I'm feeling oh-so-brain-dead.

friends, fun and birthday.

2011-10-20T00:30:00.000+08:00

Celebrated dear Uncle Lim's birthday at WIP Bangsar.
Nice hangout place. Happening at night, bustling crowd, happy hours.
Well, pretty quiet in the afternoon, good place to sit and have some work done.
A nice change from always hanging out at Starbucks.

Anyway we had a small surprise dinner for the birthday boy.. err uncle I mean.
5 friends since childhood 'era' gathered to celebrate one important man's birthday.
The 27th. Haha.

Happy Birthday Choon Wee!! =P

i would like to have..

2011-10-17T13:24:00.000+08:00

I like this space. Nice furniture pieces and colors. Mix and matching with different design. Likey.
Don't really fancy the panther painting even though the colors are pretty much striking. Haha
Would like to have this kind of feel for design studio discussion table or maybe a nice dining set for my own single apartment if I have one. =P

Aiks. Dreams are big but pocket is empty.
Must work hard work hard.

updated & upgraded

2011-10-14T11:26:00.001+08:00

Fanson was going on and on about the new iOS 5. How convenient and awesome it was.
I was in greeeeeeeen.
Was very busy yesterday, rushing crazy deadline for afternoon's meeting later. Need my phone to standby just in case crazy clients call hence why I can't upgrade during the day. Afraid it might take forever to load.

Fan was sharing the advantages and I could wait to upgrade mine as well. Haha how childish, huh? Anyway I finally manage to do it past 1am earlier today. Haha and everything took only like 20mins and ta-dah.. New iOS. Fan took almost few hours to just download it then update it. Lucky me.

2 things I really like bout iOS 5 are the volume side buttons which allows me to snap photos w/o having to press the middle button anymore which is so convenient AND the notification screen!!! Quite awesome really. Notify me bout my new messages, emails, calls without interrupting whatever I'm doing. It'll appear like a narrow banner at the upper part of my screen. So fking convenient and somehow private!! It won't appear like a big alert box that people beside me can read your messages and BEST is NO goddamn interruption while you're doing something else. Woww, Apple, you're genius!!

4 girls 3 dishes

2011-10-13T16:32:00.002+08:00

Dinner with the young girls last night. Yup.. Tess, Jasmynn and Janet.

We were at Ben's General Food Store at Bangsar Village 1.

Planned to have our dinner at Plan B at first, then changed our mind to Ben's instead.

I missed the Ben's in Pavilion KL. Hmm.. *click*

Though both adapting the same Ben's label but different concepts were served.

There's a lot of pizza at Ben's General Store. Pretty affordable.

Tasted much much better compared to Alexis which is also kinda overpriced.

Will be back here for more pizza for sure.

From top:
1. Scorched Sweet Corn & Crabmeat with frisee, lime and mayo.
2. Chicken Parmigiana
3. Salmone & Spinach Pizza *thumbs up*

a month and few days after

2011-10-12T12:15:00.009+08:00

Wow.. a month just flutterrred by since my last post here.

Let's see.. I've celebrated my 27th birthday, came back from my Bangkok vacation, met an old friend, manage to piss someone off, had a haircut, attended FOUR wedding dinners at four entirely different towns, handover two projects.. but yet did not update anything here at all.

Bad me. Oh well, I'm back.. I hope. Hehe..

Pix showing parts of how my month went through..

Need a desperate diet.

Fuck.

ang-gu-gu~

2011-08-28T15:28:00.003+08:00

Went out with Louise.

Dated Amber, Eric and their son, Baby Aden.

We had good full dinner at Senjyu Cineleisure.

Not bad. Bout the price of Rakuzen.

Anyway the star of the night was Baby Aden.

Babies are so adorable.. *pinch cheeks

"Ehhh.. don't touch..!!"

"Awww why??"

*innocent eyes staring*

"Dirty la lil boy..."

"Noo la.. where got wor.. Can i touch again..please??"

*fingers pointing ready to attack*

girls just wanna have fun

2011-08-19T15:13:00.002+08:00

Yes, we went clubbing last Friday. Velvet again.

The last time I went clubbing was.. LAST YEAR...

and last year, if it weren't for my birthday celebration...

*paused* I think I probably never thought of going.

Haha.

Anyway, it was our girls' night out.

We had fun.. and a lil drama.. but all's good.

Been ages since we went a lil crazy. Ok maybe I went a lil crazy. *grins*

singapore never gets old..

2011-08-15T01:08:00.001+08:00

Singapore will always be a fine place to travel.

Still pretty homey feel to me, just 30mins flying away from real home.

Things are just more structured and organized but less affordable..

Well, of course unless you're earning their currency. =)

Let the photographs chronologically tell my trip. Haha.

Best babi pizza ever!! Haha

Il Volo fantastico

2011-08-04T12:45:00.001+08:00

Il Volo was awesome.

Their live version was as amazing as the CD itself.

Goosebumps-generators!

Enough said.

Guess they almost crashed Bentley Auditorium's sound system with their fantastico vocals.

Haha. =P

love their il mondo version..

2011-07-23T02:08:00.002+08:00

Wow what a night...
Yeah I realised it's 2:09 in the morning now and I'm still so alert n wide awake simply cos I kinda still dont believe what i just did.
I never called or SMS anything to win anything on radio stations before. It was my first time and I won the tickets to Il Volo's showcase at Bentley Auditorium next weekend. Why I did what I did earlier because il Volo is not selling their tickets and I'm dying to go. Haha. You have to win from Red.FM by sending SMSes in at a certain time and answer their questions!! Always love Red.FM, especially their late night love songs. Always a good chillax time driving home from late OTs or dinners or bar-hoppings. ;)

I never knew il Volo until I walked into That CD Shop in Marina Sands last weekend when I was still in Singapore. As I was paying for the High Society's Genre compilation, they played il Mondo on air. Wow it blew me away.. So I asked for the cd and found out they're only teenagers and double wow it really swept me off my feet and sealed the deal!! I bought it straightaway.

I can't wait for the showcase. They're really very talented.
Won two tickets. Pin being my sgp partner who walked me into That CD Shop definitely 'invited' to go with me!! Hahaha.

I still can't believe I did what I always heard contestants winning on radio contests. Never knew I will ever do that one day and heard myself LIVE on air later. Haha.

Wow.

Marina me all the way...

2011-07-21T20:44:00.002+08:00

I went Singapore over the weekend.

Took the last flight in on Monday night.

So glad I did. Singapore is always pleasingly homey-feel to me.

This time was as if I went back home to Singapore. The feeling was indescribable.

Great smell of freedom.

Musical was ab fabulous. Love it to the bits.

Food was good. Room was budgetly nice and clean.

Friends were awesome! and the best was totally stress-free..

I will be back with more pix.

Catching up with work unfortunately.

Damn.

one royal yellow weekend

2011-07-10T22:33:00.007+08:00

Yesterday was in fact, the most yellow day ever seen.

All the yellow profile images in facebook, all the yellow shirts + headbands + banners in KL rally all over Youtube, local TV news, Al-Jazeera etc etc etc.

Bersih 2.0 Rally. *click*

Think with a clear mind, with all those unnecessary strict roadblocks and checkings, approx. 50,000 managed and fight their way to the federal capital and successfully demonstrated the walk of democracy. What if there's no roadblocks, silly restrictions and those who were arrested, imagine how many rakyat would be attending the rally? Easily double the crowd yesterday.

One second, with the royal intervention.. the other second the rally was claimed to be illegal. What the? Irrelevant.

Reading articles and news all over the internet (definitely not local tv news) I felt proud and in awe with our Malaysians here and abroad with their determination and bravery to step up and tell them what's right and clean. This is Malaysia with great unity I've never seen before. All races and religions walking down the rally supporting Bersih's call for free and clean elections. Not only here but in Melbourne, HK, Singapore, Bangkok, London too. Wow.

Looking at these rally pictures, feel kinda unbelievable because they seemed so something that won't happen to our country, probably more to abroad countries where we always watch on night news. But with whatever that happened yesterday, I felt really great watching all the determination of theirs marching into the federal capital, some with kids, crutches, elderly people; in spite of their fear to face the tear gas, chemical water spray and merciless whackings from the police. Wow again.

Quoted from Lim Kit Siang's blog, “709” will go down in Malaysian history as the day of empowerment of the real 1Malaysia – where all races and religions came together to demand a “Clean Malaysia”, not just for clean elections but also in the political system and all aspects of national governance.
You couldn't agree more.

The chaos descended but the spirit has not. We shall just wait and observe.

More pix *here*

More news *here* and *here*

Are they shivering down their pants? Well, they're clearly going into denial now. There's more drama to see from their side from now on. I wonder how our future would turn up to. Hmmm...

My my baby blue

2011-07-08T21:32:00.004+08:00

Wow. A week just breeze by.. seems like seconds i last pen here last Friday.
Haha Life has been ridiculiously hectic lately.
Running from one site to another was hellish and very tiring.

Anyway that's work.

I have a latest "at-the-moment" obsession. Heehee.

Steve Tyler. Don't you think he's adorable despite his age..

He's 63 but still sound AMAZING!!

Funny watching him on American Idol, all those hilarious moments and expressions.

His drugs past put aside (which i don't care), he's really a damn good vocalist.

His nickname of "Demon of Singing" hella impressive.

Love his colorful outfits with his trademark scarves hanging from his microphone stand.

Chill ran down my spine listening to his ggreaatt songs.. Ja-ja-jadedddd..~~

Singing along with his songs, very stress-releasing in a different way.. Hehe

Would love to go to one of his concerts, but nahhh he probably wont be allowed in Malaysia.

Those silly too-rock-bad-influence crap rules.

His live performance!! AMAZING!~

I wonder if I can find his old Aerosmith cd at the stores now.. hmm

Your thinking's so complicated...

I've had it all up to here,

But it's so overrated..

Love and hated,

Wouldn't trade it..

Love me jaded...

Once in the blue moon..

2011-07-02T23:58:00.002+08:00

I had a meeting with a client yesterday about 6pm at BSC. I was yes, late due to the bad Friday traffic. Really hate driving sometimes but oh well those complaints were getting pretty old.

Anyway the meeting went great fortunately so that eased my mind off the horrible traffic that I faced before the meeting and soon to meet after the meeting simply because I have to stuck my ass out in the jam from BSC to Pavilion KL. I agreed to meet Louise up for dinner at her workplace err Pavilion obviously and Vernard, an almost MIA workaholic, whom I saw last year? Despite the obvious jam, I still put my ass out there to have a good Friday night out because last week's Friday night was very depressing and... lonely.

Dinner was a bit of catching-up with Vernard kinda warming-up session. I meet Louise almost weekly, phone SMS almost every other day, so I guess or should be CERTAIN that we know each other way too much to need any ice-breaking q&a session. Haha. Well, dinner was fun at Michelangelo's, visuals in the menu were pretty deceiving but food was okay, then leading to drinking at La Bodega till 2am?

It's been months since I last went out this late to chill. The feeling was great. Something like Cinderella tasted her freedom for a change from her tight work schedules and mom's midnight curfew. Sometimes I just wish I can do whatever I want whenever I want and with whomever I want without having to answer to somebody or think too much of the consequences. Life's short. We need the 'fullest' feeling sometimes to keep us sane. Last night from our late 21:00 dinner till wee early hours were purely entertainment only. I'm dead serious cos all we did was talked and laughed and talked and laughed and surprisingly I forgotten what defines WORK. I'm really glad. Imagine life's like this everyday.

Due to tight sched, mom was pretty used to me having to be home by midnight almost everyday, in fact sometimes I'm home for few days straight rushin my butt off meeting some Client's impossible crazy deadlines. Hence all these repetition habits of mine, she started calling up by 22:30 when I'm still out. Sigh. I feel like in high school again tho I'm admitting not that I live my life for close to 27 years already. I have even pass my quarter-life-crisis period. Oh darn.

Oh I wish more days as yesterday would come. Just having a great time with close friends talking, laughing and watching other people having their own version of good time. Oh when shall that be? This coming week perhaps? :)

roar!!

2011-06-30T23:03:00.001+08:00

A big smile on my face. Finally.

Something to look forward to.

Will be hopping into Singapore with a girlfriend, middle of July for a weekend getaway..

3 days and 2 nights of freedom from work.. wow that's an improvement. Haha

We'll be catching the Lion King musical at Sands Theater, Marina Bay Sands.

Disney's internationally acclaimed musical.. Hmm.. Can't wait!!

At least something to keep me excited for awhile. =P

ipoh-nizing

2011-06-29T23:24:00.003+08:00

Been piling up with works. Very busy.

Stress which leads to numerous times of brain-dead symptoms.

Well, I survived again. Lucky me.

Remember one of my previous post *click* when I went Ipoh for a one-day work trip.

Have been working on the project since.. layout plans done but not quite 100% confirmed yet..

Clients have been kind enough but typically pushy with the deadlines..

Have been working on the preliminary 3D proposals these few days.

Here's some sneak peek. *grins* in monochrome of course.

dissatisfaction that goes nowhere..

2011-06-28T23:45:00.000+08:00

Appointments appointments appointments!!

I can't believe I'm booked for work for the rest of this week.

Every single day. Morning session, afternoon session and evening too.

Oh fuck my life.

I need some few hours for myself.

Some FREE hours for me to do nothing but just enjoy the moment.

To relax and have a deep long sleep...

Unlike lately only to always wake up to sudden urgent morning calls bout site issues etc or late SMSes out of nowhere bringing forward the deadlines.. Ugh.

Maybe I should try retail shopping.

A friend tagged me in facebook for the sudden fame of Banane Taipei Eco bags.

Posted a pix below. Nice? I like their Lake Blue or maybe Green Grass.

But no money.

Sigh. After complaints after complaints, life still goes back to square one.

Which is WORK to get CASH.

Sad.

those below five.

2011-06-21T23:45:00.004+08:00

Everywhere I go nowadays, somehow I see baby carriages, kids, babies, and kids.. and more babies and kids. All soooo adorable. Even in facebook, you'll be browsing through your friends' kids, friend's sister's kids, old college friends' kids, ex-colleagues's kids and many more kids..

I can't imagine myself with a kid now even though I have constant questions on when am I getting a boyfriend.. when am I getting married.. old d.. you're suppose to be having 2 kids now.. lalallalala... Oh gawd.

Being in a big family, full of cousins who are a bunch older than you.. it's pretty tough when you're in a "single and available" status. Haha

Having their little kids running around on festive celebrations calling you "Aunty" when you insist on "Jiejie" will do.. Haha... But still, elders insisted must call Aunty. Some generation status thingy to them is very important.

Oh I just love watching them play.

But taking care of them full-time.. phew~ one tough task.

Kids and their "creative" poses nowadays.

Posed naturally when you took your camera out from your bag, waiting for you to snap on them and then eagerly looked on your camera preview and tell you, "Eh not nice, take again.." or "Eh it's me, so cute!"..

.... I'm speechless. But oh so adorable.

sunday doomed me

2011-06-19T12:41:00.007+08:00

What a nothing-to-do day!!! And yes I am complaining..

I have tons to do.. but I just.. just.. don't freaking feel like doing anything....

How can weekends be soo sooo sooo BORINGGG....

Used to love weekends a lot but lately... I really prefer weekdays where you're pumped up working, squeezing the last bit of brain juice for some new ideas, meeting people (anal and not anal), driving around busy town.. well seems hellish but at least FRUITFUL...

Now I'm home alone. Sitting here watching downloaded CSI Season 6 on my laptop.

No breakfast, no lunch.. not even hungry..

It's only noon but I felt like ten hours just passed.. -___-

So restless and lazy to do my drawings even though the deadlines are catching up.

Hence the reason why I might feel tinyweeny guilt if I leave home for fun now.

Clients' scary faces appearing like nobody's business..

Besides I am so BROKE!!!

Guess I have to start work soon.. or maybe not.

But nobody's home!!!!!!!!!! No one to talk to, no one to make lame jokes with..

and I'm so drowned in the world of boredommm... so so so so bored..

If only I could scream out loud without chasing my neighbours mad..

I need a long holiday despite how I've mentioned earlier that I love weekdays working.. And sshitttt. Wtf I mean??? Boredom just made me crazy that I don't even understand what I want or say or do..

F%%%. I feel so lost.

i know i shouldn't but i can't help it...

2011-06-18T22:32:00.008+08:00

Yesterday was really bad. Emotionally I mean.

Until last night, somehow things changed and feelings lifted to a slight better which I can easily "metaphorically" phrase it to two lines from William Shakespeare's "Sonnet XLIII"

"All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me."

- -

you can check the paraphrase here, if you wish to..*click*

tgif not!!!

2011-06-17T20:53:00.004+08:00

Some Friday night. How boring.

Sitting here at Starbucks, waiting for time to pass to pick my sister from her tuition.

Oh gawd.. life couldn't be any duller.

I crave for you Moo...
I had this 2 days ago at Gardens. Their original flavour w/ Oreo crumbs topping.

I prefer Moo Yoghurt than Haagan Daaz. At least it's healthier, right?

my trust to you ended up a fraud

2011-06-17T11:24:00.002+08:00

To be extremely frank, it's so offending when your love ones don't trust you because you're to be the one voicing negative remarks which are mostly true. You find it hurtful and discouraging because you are like that!! You do not encourage yourself. You just let it by one day after the another, then to your expertise you act like nothing happen. Truth hurts!! You just have to deal with it if you're not trying to improvise from it. Why do I tell you the fugly truth? Because I do not want you to face the evil world with your stupidity. If you can't take it from me, how can you take it from the outside world? At the end of the day, I'm not the one who will be in your shoes to absorb those unnecessary humiliation that you finger-crossed it will never happen BUT if you continuously ignoring the facts that are smacked right in your face now, then eat your own shoe.

The more it reflects in my mind, the more I saw red. Keeping secrets from me simply because you do not want me to know, so that I do not pass you REAL hurtful two cents that somehow will hurt your ~~ass~~ dignity. Please.

Hate it when you give me some lame-ass excuse to re-wind the statement you just said, thinking I'm some dumbass fucking kid that thinks rooster lay eggs. When you do not want anyone to know about your tiny little fucking secret then you should just keep it to yourself. Don't pass an invitation then to be advised by others then you come running to me trying your best to re-phrase your previous invitation and act all crazily innocent.

I do not need such drama especially when I'm so close to you.

I think of dear to you but you treat me lower than the dust under your doormat.

What the fuck am I to you?

Now that things are so obviously clear, don't expect me to tell you anything anymore.

Period.

who can resist John Corbett?

2011-06-16T19:53:00.004+08:00

I have a huge crush on John Corbett ever since I watched him on Sex and the City.

Yes still having a big~~ass~~ crush even though the series was like 10 years ago?

I still and will always find him really hot and sexy despite his older age now.

This vid below is one of Trisha's BIG song.
Meaningful lyrics with very nice vid to go alongwith.

Of course "plus points" for me is that John's starring in it. =)

We don't have to do this..

We don't have to act like friends,

As much as I would love to,

I really just don't think I can...

Me, the one who really knows you

Me, the one whose heart you've broken..

Me, the one who was still hoping..

You might be missing.... me.

I really like the lyrics. *click* Find it very down-to-earth.

Practically everyone would go through this kind of phase in life.

Can so feel it.

i'm faulty.

2011-06-16T16:54:00.002+08:00

Fail.

I am such a failure at times..

Especially when dealing with her..

She can so drive me up the wall over some very very unnecessary stuff BUT yet I feel I'm the guilty one at the end of the day after I've cooled off EVEN when it's practically not considered as my "fault".

WHY????

Then I'll start thinking... ahhh I shouldn't that.. I should've this.

Omg.. I'm so pissed with myself now.

capital of Perak...

2011-06-14T14:17:00.005+08:00

I am working on some drawings and design concepts now.

Hence the visuals from the project I'm headache-ing with.

Taking a 5 minutes break to pen a short post here.

Ipoh has always been just a "quick-food-stop" for me whenever we're on the way to or back from Penang. Well, Ipoh just didn't seem that much of a WOW factor to me but I did realize long time ago that the architectural sights they have were pretty interesting at every corner of Ipoh Old Town. Old shophouses, the Moorish-style railway station, town hall, authority buildings, banks etc. Back to the British Colonial Era, pretty cool, I must admit..

in the car: snapped nearby my site

my new project site at Old Ipoh Town

Trivia:

Do you know Ipoh is the fourth largest city in Malaysia?

Hehehe.

hot teens date

2011-06-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

Youngsters nowadays.

Ok wait, I wonder am I still in the "youngster" category? =P haha

Anyway I was at Tropicana City Mall with Sarah earlier this evening.

With laptops and iPads, working our asses off at Bad Ass Cafe, earphones on our ears as those Hawaiian Aloha songs they were having on, was pretty much demotivating and distracting.

I still love Starbucks but there was a crowd there and takda tempat duduk.

Sarah suggested Bad Ass.. so why not? haha faster wifi and cheaper drinks.

So back to the "story", I was going up the escalator to GF, there was this very young teen couple 2 steps ahead of me. Possible in their very early 20s, or maybe younger. Dude with blings, baggy jeans, and girl with very short skirt.. Bet they were obviously oblivious about their surrounding as they were busy lip-locking from LG to GF. Haha. I was sorta in a hurry and have got no idea to pass them.. but I wasn't as offended as the lady behind me. She was staring and muttered something to herself, shaking her head with this very disapproving look. Haha. I wanted to laugh but oh well, it wasn't nice, right?

We settled at Bad Ass then. Sitting on comfortable armchairs near the entrance, "browsing" out, brain scanning for ideas and there I spotted them again on the escalator up to 1F. And yes they were lip-locking again, snuggling, forming into 1 big piece (haha) and the girl was giving him soft pecks on his cheek repeatedly all the way up... err like a woodpecker? The naiveness of young love where nothing matters but them. How easy.. and sweet.

Back then, I don't remember doing things like this. Shy shy.

Maybe a peck but not repeatedly pecks. Oh well I can't recall actually.

Been ages since I last dated.

When I mention AGES, i really MEANT "AGES".. like really long...

Not very hard to believe I think.

Stress is simply a fact of nature.

2011-06-12T22:48:00.004+08:00

At some times when some people expect too much from you, you asked yourself...

what will you do.. or should i rephrase that to.. what CAN you do or.. what SHOULD you do?

It's really getting very tiring when out-of-nowhere one throws an entire load, size of Russia on your shoulders; stepping a little on it.. causing some mini earthquakes and perhaps some crazy tsunami.. then.. sigh I'm out of words to describe.. Mana itu brakes??

Sometimes I find it amazing that (haha) in some way some "internal factors" can have their ways to determine my body's ability to react to all these hilarious loca external stress-inducing factors. As for now, I too find it impossible to tell you that I'm not "brain-dead" because... I AM BRAIN DEAD now.

Thinking ahead of all the workloads jamming up in front of me, foresee all the unseen-able unpredictable un-nice (if there's such word) of unnecessary problems and depressing consequences. I too hope that I won't be stuck in between as a victim of their "circumstances". All those boring old shouldn't-have-happen-kind-of sequence of actions or bad events expressed in a seriously unfriendly way should be grimly avoided.

Okay. I am a bit negative today.

OKAY. I admit I'm VERY pessimistic today, taking the gloomiest possible view.

But well, whatever my fortune may be, I hope I am still a happy lot in the end of the day.

*fingers crossed*

when retreat comes with good food..

2011-06-11T23:46:00.006+08:00

A very short retreat off the busy city today.

We were celebrating earlier Daddy's Day dinner here.

And here I meant is by the Morib Beach, Banting.

A very nice peaceful place, I must say.

And that's where we're having our dinner.

1 table per hut. Nice. Privacy.

And later on, mosquitoes. =(

Okay. We're here.. to be exact. Golden Sea Restaurant.

Food came fast. Cheap. Better than Teluk Gong or Port Klang, in fact...

Teluk Gong is toooo commercialized to my liking.

Here we can still have a bit of the "kampung" feel for seafood.

As you can see from the pictures what our main courses are...
Additional another extra dishes of vegetables and fried yam..
Guess how much our dinner was?? About 7 dishes with rice for each 6 of us..
- -
Only RM 168.. Affordable right?? .

a streak of laziness..

2011-06-10T23:30:00.004+08:00

Eh... somehow I'm speechless tonight, err more like the whole day today..

Not just speechless but action-less, talk-less, brain-less maybe.

Maybe in another "simpler" word, i'm just bloody plain lazy today.

Drowning myself in this particular, 张雨生's song - 我期待

Poor guy... some really bad accident caused his death in his 30s..

Very talented guy.. or so I've heard from the elders... Hmm..

I'm still feeling lazy..

Oh I went pasar malam earlier tonite..

Siblings bought some putu bamboo and kuih pelita.

Very good business for this little dad-son-daughter stall..

Sigh. I'm still feeling lazy.

Even lazy to sleep. Damn.

like my engraving?

2011-06-09T23:30:00.004+08:00

My iPad's here.

Finally after 10days of wait since I've ordered online last week.
Been fidgeting with it since last night that I've been neglecting my freelances.

Sorry clients.. my bad.

Oh well, been BUSY adding new apps in, sync emails, contacts and files...

And building a li'l portfolio folder inside too..

My mom's playin' with it now.. she likes the AngryBird game.. So cute.

Dad's busy fidgeting with Poker games.. Haha.

He said he might consider getting one too.

Hmm.. Looks like my iPaddy gona be the whole family's new toy now. =)

am i a weirdy?

2011-06-09T12:28:00.006+08:00

I wouldn't say mass media is bad..

but sometimes they're very influential in some very negative way.

I still remember back in high school where we always have to write essays with titles like "Benefits of Mass Media", "Pros and Cons".. "How Mass Media influences your future".. "How television cannot be your hobby?" etc etc

Well, waking up this morning... Mom greeted me with a short comment..

She said, "You know.. I heard this from a specialist/professor (or someone equivalent expert) having this interview with the deejays on radio this morning... What he said was quite true."

So she told me..

He said, 'All designers, no matter what kind of designer.. Advertising, graphic, interior, product... etc.. as in ALL kinds of designers or any living creature that does designing full time has a very weird attitude.... WEIRD as in think strangely, act strangely, talk strangely, always want-to-win attitude, stuck-up, very perfectionist... and.. pretty SELFISH.."

Wow.. Someone must have gotten into his 'undies' or some designer-ex-girlfriend must have dumped him pretty bad maybe.. for commenting ALL designers are, in another simplified word.. WEIRDOS?? or worst... ASSHOLES?!

And mom ended her line with.. "You should put this in mind.. Think about it.."

Errr... thanks mom.

Speechless me? Yes. I'm speechless.

Wait.. Are we thaaaaaaat bad? Seriously?

two arrived

2011-06-08T16:29:00.004+08:00

Despite the horrible day since 9am today, and after 10 days wait.. he finally arrived.

Yes it's a HE cos he's black... Know it sounded irrelevant but.. he's mine.

I'll name him soon.

Perhaps you can think of a name for me? Teeheehee

one Tuesday morning

2011-06-08T09:52:00.002+08:00

Had a peaceful sleep.. maybe a few 'self-defined' nice dreams too..
Waking up slowly to the soft snoozing alarm from the past hour..
Yawn.

Picked up my phone to give the man a last reminder bout the appointment later at 11am, where he obviously needed the double reminder because he literally 'forgot' bout it and propose a tomorrow date instead.

Texted Big. And off escaped the fierce roar of the tiger.
Must be morning sickness or the pain start from M.
The roar vanished my earlier dreams away.
Sigh how dreams can be that smack in the face sometimes..
Smacked right back to reality.

A bad bad morning..
One bad Tuesday morning.

Oh fuck. Can one find me a voluntary electrician for the day?
Perhaps a loan for just 2 hours?

a mermaid's tear

2011-06-07T23:58:00.003+08:00

Just watched the Pirates of Carribean 4.

Not awesome but okay.. hmm not bad..

I didn't quite have high expectation as many people told me it wasn't as "big" or great compared the earlier parts. Hence the feeling after watching it was fine..

Like it though.

Love all the mermaid scenes..

They're all so mystical and really beautiful and alluring.. especially Syrena.

One of the scene I fancy lots.

That is EVEN without Jack Sparrow.

More about them.. click *here*

Almost all things bout all Pirates of Carribean parts.

Hmm.. i can't quite remember the first few parts of Pirates.

Guess movie marathon is calling... =P

menstrual talking..

2011-06-06T16:50:00.004+08:00

As I am groaning in pain at this moment, I am going to ask the very 'old' question..

Why women gets period..

Yeah I know the puberty.. hormonal change thing,

then something bout reproductive system matures..

egg fertilized something then uterus wall implanting.. ovaries..

The cycle.. repeating cycle.. blood.. pads.. tampons..

I once heard a not-so-little girl asking her mommy...

"Why girls get bloody once every month and not boys?"

(okay that's not how she phrased it.. but nevermind)

The answer was sooooo simple that you hate to admit it that..

"Men don't have a uterus, so men don't ever get periods.."

And I almost asked... then why don't men have uterus then??

cobbler-in-making?

2011-06-05T00:51:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry that i couldn't bring myself to look into your eyes and "giggly" expressing my "compliments" like, "Wow... nice Prada you're holding... Ohh matched your Jimmy Choos and certainly brings out the colors of your eyes... wow wow wow... aww which I have all your qualities... you're one lucky woman..."

Oh gawd. Foot in my mouth.

I am never good in giving fake compliments or just gloat n bloat n float you up like a blardee oversized hot air balloon. Get a life. A REAL life, I mean.

Don't go expecting me to go va-va-vroom over your new branded bags la.. this la that la...

I mean when I throw you compliments, I am sincere.. I won't just "compliment" you simply making you happy in your way to sign contracts with me, or giving me great credits or whatsoever that you think you're great at..

I really don't know how to "polish shoe" lar.. and somehow lack of interest to take up that course.

Forgive me pls, your royal highness.

Unexplainable

2011-05-21T01:30:00.000+08:00

I miss him. Suddenly.

This is normal... but bad.

Want.

2011-05-20T01:34:00.001+08:00

I want something that even I find it hard to archieve.

Have a lil faith and fate? Yeah I'm waiting for you to do something.

Oh quick.

the eff one grand prix

2011-04-22T12:33:00.000+08:00

Yeah I've got free tickets to the F1 Grand Prix last week.

At first I was pretty reluctant as the thought of sitting there in hot sun, smelly guys... err traffic jams, very far location... risking my ear-drums..

and the fact that everyone going gu-gu-ga-ga over the racers and cars and yeah okay.. incredibly sexy umbrella babes...

Well I went eventually with Raymond 'cos he got the tickets and no one to go with. I so felt like a "filler". Luckily the tickets were good seats.. if not, probably skin him alive.

I was still pretty stoned over the non-reasons why some people are so crazy over these races.. crowding over the cars, pushing around and snapping pictures.. and even buy highly-priced merchandises and souvenirs.

All these thoughts were running in my head until..........

I watched the race.

Okay, now i can get on the fact that it was actually pretty cool watching the race...

The adrenalin rush. The really hot drivers...

but I still don't get why you have to buy that bloody jersey priced of half a K just with a small tiny car brand on the right corner.

Okay... then again.. Some don't get it why women buy LV..

Alright. Fair enough. Haha.

Site 4 hours away on a Sunday?

2011-04-12T14:27:00.002+08:00

Working on a Sunday...

All the way to Penang..

Very last minute trip.. exhaust the hell outta me.

Thank goodness, I have great companion throughout.

it hurts worst

2011-04-02T22:55:00.001+08:00

She finally said it out today.
She said my name and then said how I've always silently hated her. Oh fuck.
Seriously that hurts really badly as this is what she think of me all these time.

Angry attacks leads to very unbearable emotional words. Some said angry words meant the deep down truth but is she?
I really had enough of all the untrue rantings of her when she's mad. I do not agree with her words sometimes, actions sometimes, swings all the time but all these doesn't mean I don't love her or respect her.

I hate the fact that till today I still can't find a way or somehow something to actually satisfy her needs or expectation on me. It's been a damn long time since she eventually agree with whatever I'm doing/did/my other i-think-is-relevant-but-she-strongly-disagree-kind-of-actions. Till today everything that is wrong or bad is still tossed and turned with some angry-really-impressive-words then landed a huge emotional thud on me.

The effort and actions I made to show my care will always be doubted for a favour in return or some suspicious reasons which really pisses me off. Too much imagination too much emotional words too much negative harsh comments really dampen my spirits. I am really not like that you see. Why is it so hard to trust me?

I am really running out of thoughts.
But a question always arises, "why me?"

Is it crisis?

2011-01-30T00:35:00.000+08:00

I guess these couple of years to come will be pretty hard to please by.

Understanding the meaning of "mid-life-crisis" and eventually experiencing it.. very damn different. Experiencing it doesn't mean i'm feeling the "crisis" personally but well, when you have one member in the family having it, I guess everyone living in the same house have to so-called going through it too..

It was bad sometimes. Real bad. All the insecureness, naiveness, anger.

It was worst than facing a goddamnFup client simply because you care less due to the reason their label "client" are merely just strangers only.

Understanding the fact of "mid-life-crisis" where most people (age 40-60) will do experience some sort of emotional transition during that time of their life though I thought 40 was way too early huh?

Emotional transition. Sounds worst than teenager being rebellious.

Scary.

one fine day

2011-01-29T11:41:00.002+08:00

I guess these couple of years to come will be pretty hard to please by.

It was bad sometimes. Real bad. All the insecureness, naiveness, anger.

It was worst than facing a goddamnFup client simply because you care less than under the label "client" they're merely just strangers.

Emotional transition. Sounds worst than teenager being rebellious.

to the largest city on Borneo

2011-01-28T16:08:00.000+08:00

It was my first trip to Kuching.

Well.. don't expect to see cats everywhere...

except those monumental statues smacked in the middle of all roundabouts.. =P

We were having afternoon tea nearby their the famous old courthouse built by the Brookes, hence the visuals I've uploaded at my previous post.

Somehow in Kuching, everything seemed a bit laidback...

It's like you wouldn't even be as bothered as you are here when your order arrived late on your table. How peaceful.

Publish Post

We were in fact here to attend a ex-college friend's wedding.

I enjoyed Kuching overall. Good friends Bernadine had intro-ed.

Nice place to walk around, look see the museums, riverside...

Weather seemed better too.. Breezy..

A good place to release yourself from the concrete jungle.

Took a break from KL.

2011-01-25T14:49:00.002+08:00

impossible meets

2011-01-18T11:45:00.000+08:00

Met a guy in some events.

He gave me fluttery feeling in my stomach.

It's been a long time since I met one who can do that.

Liking lomo??

2011-01-10T14:17:00.001+08:00

Just testing out my iphone's new lomo app.
Not bad. You think?

First 9 days of twenty-eleven.

2011-01-09T15:30:00.005+08:00

It's 2011 already.

Nothing much changed for me.

Still same old same old.

All I can say is I need to get my ass out to the world more often..

other words.. to get out from home.. comparing to well *ahem*

how I've been acting introvert all lately..

I have always love going out.. Watching people..

Window-shopping when there's nothing to be shopped..

and shopping when there are cheap sales..

Out drinking with friends, yakking hours away laughing etc,

catching the latest movies.. good food-hunting..

feasting on chicken wings and cold shrimp salad in Ikea canteen with favourite babes.. or out sitting alone in Starbucks with my laptop working my freelance deadlines off or with a good book and hot Caramel Macchiato on a rainy day.

Oh well.. suddenly all these seem-ed bygones.

Not entirely "lost" but karat dah.

Lately I have been very lazy. I still work but at home.

Sleeping at 2am, waking up latest by 10am was my best achievement.

I feel bored. Restless and some-sort like a tragic housewife..

Daily routines to fetch my siblings from school, make/buy them lunch,

often drives to tuition.. making sure they sleep by their curfew time..

Oh and also as an acting "sand-bag".. ok scratch that.

And only to leave home when necessary like work and appointments.

I've lose interest in planning events/dinners when sometimes someone just don't learn to appreciate... hence the reasons I've lack of my "going-out" activities. Such disease, right?

Maybe one of all the bonus points is that staying home might be an encouraging way to learn how to save money, perhaps? But on the other hand, how to compensate to my emotional distress?

Well, enough said.

Eh, can someone date me out?

The Last of 2010

2010-12-31T19:12:00.001+08:00

Wow.. Time flies. Today's the end of 2010. Unbelievable but trying to believe it.. :)

This week has been pretty fruitful. Cleaning up, packing, throwing old things, buying new stuff, preparing to move into a new room which is just across the hall. My contract for my 'single' room was repeatedly asked to be terminated by my 'landlady' in order for her son to have his own room. So hence, I'll have to moved to another slightly bigger room to bunk with my sister.

I needed to make some refurbishment for the so-called new room to me as nobody has been sleeping in it fir sometime. It was like how you going to restore a old room into a better one for living. Ain't wrong right? But to some people it was not necessary, hence all the disagreements n etc. But to me, I must.. For a very simple reason.. I am going to sleep there. Bedrooms are important as most daily routines of your life is organized in there.

New sliding wardrobe cabinet for sure. The existing one was almost 30 years old d. Painted a new shade of dark purple, white for ceiling and window frames. Cleaning and scrubbing on existing dark timber parquet floors.

To have a proper room, disagreements with the LL went uncontrollable. I have lived my life for 26 years but I still have no say in refurbishing my room as what I do best as my profession but my opinions were not agreed upon any reasonable 'logic'. I was very depressed. I have to literally fight my way though it. I set my own budget, did what I need to the very minimum cost n contacting my contractor for my new wardrobe. Darn I was not agreed at all in the first place but I stood very firm as I know what I am doing.

The room is halfway done. Lack of a new mattress, tall-boy and 'storage' partition aka Expedit which obviously I'm getting from a least designers' favourite place called Ikea. All chipboards n mdf means low budget. Well, better than nothing.. At least I got my custom-build wardrobe. Thanks to my carpenter who was willing to fly all the way from capital down to humble Klang for 1 set of 8' wardrobe.

Guess I'll be purchasing the loose pieces next week. I'll be home counting down the minutes to 2011 later. New resolutions for the new year? Well just one. To keep my life organised at all times. Working hard and achieving goals are parts of my all-time mottos. Not a resolution. So that's all wrapped up for 2010!!

See you next year and a Happy New Year!!
Cheers!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T18:13:00.001+08:00

I'm sitting at Starbucks, Borders Gardens while other thousands of people doing their last minute shopping for Christmas.

We're hitting Alexis later.
But for now I'm bored. Reading a romance when I'm feeling bored on a festive day? Hmmm is it weird?

Merry Christmas to you.

I love my Life

2010-12-22T23:07:00.002+08:00

I don't want to be in a match-make scenario.

I don't see 26 years old is an issue.

Nuff said.

prepared or not to?

2010-12-18T18:22:00.001+08:00

Manicure & pedicure in the morning.
Hair treatment in the afternoon.
Playing dress-up twice in three days.
I'm tiredddd but happy.
Best wishes to the newly wedded couple!!

trying to adapt

2010-12-16T10:54:00.003+08:00

Oh well, the warning sirens went out of control again.

Again over some ridiculous self-imagination statements.

Funny huh? How human mind can eventually "generate" that?

Like.. hmm how should one put it for easier understanding..

Oh.. okay it's like..

It did not happen but you keep thinking and imagine until it's a full story in your head..

and well by the time you're done imagining 'em in your head, it was "AS IF" it already happened...

Wow mighty Wow huh??

Really drive me up the wall at times.

Or should I say EVERYtime.

Cool.

6 months after

2010-12-14T13:55:00.002+08:00

Right at this second, a lot of things spinning in my head rapidly. The feeling of a lot of things to do yet so little time.. or more like there’s a lot to do but not knowing which suits myself the most. And possibly a lot of distraction meaning to say sarcasm, unnecessary scoldings, very negative comments, crazy ideas and maybe cash?

I’ve been unemployed since June 2010. Almost half a year, wow.. Thinking it, it was so damn long ago. Freaking half years just flew swiftly off without a blink of eye. Sometimes thinking it again, makes me go. WhatTheFuckk?? Not to say I did not make use of my so-called free time, I am not that kind of person where you can see me doing absolutely nothing for months. I ought to get some projects/activities to fidget with. I do have freelance projects, taking most of my time, hence I do not realize months have passed just like that. I do feel a bit free-er than my 9-6 job period but sometimes it was too hectic as I do not have anyone to count on except myself; unlike last time where I do have a boss to shield as a standing cold wall? Things are very different now but I do enjoy every bit of it, though at times I might be a fussypants and hmm maybe a crazy bitch? At times when the “giving-up” level reached its fucking peak that I just want to drop everything just like that, but then everything would go flushed into the drain. These times are so hard to cope with, ain’t words can easily explain, or easily shared with a friend but.. it’s just the.. well, I am glad I managed to work out some inner courage/confidence to face all these fucking obstacles and yes, fucking people. *pat on back.

Half year. Bloody half year. Crazy 6 months. Never ending roller-coaster ride.

It’s almost year-end. I quit my 9-6 job due to some typical employee reason and also to give myself a break. In fact a break to think what will my next step be. Times have been busy, hence that I still haven’t quite figured out what I want to do yet. 6 months ain’t short but not that long either, BUT enough for a “break”, I guess. I ought to start thinking again.

I am in the middle of contemplating with 2 options.

First, I do have a sudden urge to go back to studying life. Just a speck of sudden urge to do it, but I guess it ain’t a bad thing to continue my Masters which definitely I am NOT taking Interior Architecture but maybe something else. And if I do start on my Masters, I don’t think I will be able to seek for a 9-6 job, right? So I’ll still stuck with freelance projects till I finished my Masters. Why Masters some asked? Well, just a way to always “up” your knowledge another level, ain’t a bad thing, right? Just want to discover more things I would say and hence, that’s why I will definitely not do freelance full time.

On the other hand, I ignore Masters. I shall seek for a 9-6 job after Chinese New Year which was one of the initial plans I had in mind since I quitted. I have still not browse through Jobstreets and etc websites to see what they have in market right now. I mean.. I will when times are near, not now, ‘cos knowing myself I will be very distracted with something so new to experiment with, might even neglect or dis-interest what I have in hand now. I shall move on one by one. Besides, my portfolio ain’t ready yet. That’s another hassle. Hmm.

Some encouraged me to do freelance full time aka start my own firm. I really think it’s way too early to do that. Then came answers that say, you have your “market” now, do you want to just let them go and re-start back in working full-time evil world? I must say, freelance was fun and challenging to me but it’s not enough. I wouldn't say it's "restart". I have more to explore, more to experiment, most importantly more to learn. A lot more to learn. I would not want to be tied up in my small circle till like who knows when I’ll step out of this industry. Though this industry is bloody stressful, meeting crazy people, handling fuckup cases, but my passion still bloody here.. at least NOW they still are. Yeah some said I was stupid thinking this way.

Hmm.. I hate crossroads.

hamsterdamp?

2010-10-27T01:28:00.002+08:00

I want to go Amsterdam. *grins*

but when? hmm... =(

a song someone sings

2010-10-06T22:42:00.000+08:00

Dancing bears,
Painted wings,
Things I almost remember,
And a song someone sings
Once upon a December.

Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart
Used to know,
Things it yearns to remember...

snaps

2010-10-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

me need exotic places to exote

2010-10-01T00:29:00.004+08:00

I want to go Turkey!!! *jumps jumps*

I've always love exotic places.
Places filled with colors, textures, cultures and architecture.

Kwangli just came back with her students like last week.
Browsing through their awesome pix on facebook.. i'm like green in envy.
I am in SO need to go for a holiday.
But no extra cash and no kaki.

So who can partner me go?
Sponsor me cash?
Blehhhh~

ok. i might upload my previous weekend getaways pix soon. hehe

If laaa....

2010-09-23T23:59:00.002+08:00

If I had you, that would be the only thing I'd ever need...
If I had you, then money fame and fortune never could compete..
If I had you, life would be a party it'd be ecstasy..
If I had you....

eh, so where the f*rk are you???

*AL*

head spinning like gasing

2010-09-21T22:49:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when some decisions are made.. there's no turning back.
Fuck recently i made the wrong one... simply cos i'm a nice person.
No choice but to deal with it. oh fucking fuck. Challenge babyy..~

Screw you!!

i'm 26 !!!~

2010-09-06T22:56:00.001+08:00

Dinner at Bar Italia, Changkat Bukit Bintang
Party at Velvet Underground, Zouk KL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!! hehehhee

shhhhh...

2010-07-30T01:28:00.001+08:00

abandoned huh?
I'm going to start a new blog soon.
But I'm not telling you the new address.
It's between me and me and well, me only. =)

Anyway.. I won't leave u here alone, emo blog.
Till the next night when I'm tired but ain't feel like sleeping, I'll be back.
Very soon.

"i'm-still-at-work" post

2010-05-24T21:36:00.003+08:00

looking back at the last post..
oh well, I thought i might be blogging as usual again until more and more works start to hit me off..

blogging has been slow.. very slow indeed.
whenever I get some lil' free time, I would spend it all with my bolster and "seeding" pillows.. *grins*
I can even forget bout my lil dear blog.. hehe bad me.. baddd...

Very tiring I should say.. that's what work describes as...
I really hate having those emo days where suddenly you'll be thinking like..
Hey you.. why work so hard? Cut yourself some slack.
Life's fun and f8cking short.. Enjoy while you still can!!
And then next second, you answered a phone call and turned your hard cold stare back to your laptop where you start swearing harshly to yourself and clicking hard on your mouse and keyboard.. WHy fucking goddamnittt like WHY?

Hehe.. oh well. You know why. I know why.. WE all know WHY.
Anyway just need to blare it all out sometimes when we hit our "peak"..
Nada... lalalala..
Life's moving on fast pace.. It's May.
Frankly speaking. I'm contemplating over something for these 2 months..
Whether should I... or should I not? .. *deep thought*
but somehow it's urging me to just .. DROP it.. but then some things are pulling back the decision.
Hope I'm not being totally undecided until at the end of the day.. i'll freaking regret in not making the decision anu sooner and causing more "self-stress".. oh wtf man.

Dilemma dilemma..

Sometimes I just wished some dude will walk over and tell me..
"I'm your sandbag.. just attack me anytime anywhere you want.. just DO it"

Hmm.. Any volunteer?

"another-no-sitting-day"

2010-03-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'M FREAKING TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
and I ALMOST DIED!!!!!!
almost blown off 41st floor balcony by a bloody strong gust of crazy wind..

,

some things just simply stand out

2010-03-23T00:52:00.003+08:00

I've always like design.
Concepts, colors, textures.. ambience.. the feell...
How you can move just several things around one space...
within minutes... portraying totally different views,
sharing totally different feel with just a simple play of colors, textures and lighting.

Let's share some pix.. not to say that I like them in whole..
but some bits and pieces from the image that stands out..
where we can interpret them into another whole piece of different design.

Going online, surfing, reading books, browsing magazine.. exploring new places..
whenever you're in a sudden need or rush to ~~bullshit~~ advise your clients...
these things helped a lot in generating "sudden" ideas to ~~bull~~ provide genuine opinions..
Right??

i've always like raw design. rugged. bricks, concrete, a bold color that stands right out.
A texture that you'll never get bored of or "out-date"..
Modern can get easily bored off.. or just walk into Ikea. *grins*

I never like things too plain. No lining, no grains, no plush.. nah-uh.. *shakes head*
Well, I just can't never stand a place way toooo modern or so-called-self-proclaimed-minimalism for my own personal liking.
When your client tells you, they like simple simple.. minimalism.. little bit enough.. etcetc...
simply means.. no budget lor. *groans* ~~so can save money to buy a 30k stupid couch that nobody will notice the branded logo.. and worst feels like some china-made polyestor sofa that made your backside itchy~~

Avant Garde not that bad either. Modern classical? hmm.. or maybe some vintage items standing out in front of a plain muddy boring color. yummy..

A designer's taste changes from time to time.
So bear with me.. beautiful people.

xoxo

...

guess i'm back.. or i'll be back... =P

2010-03-21T23:26:00.001+08:00

Wow.. been centuries since I've last updated, huh? hehe
Kept reminding myself to.. well.. at least pen a few words here..
or whore a few pix.. but just kept slipping of my mind..
Been a very bad blogger huh... nahh oh well..

*grins*

Ok.. I shall like MOURN... not grin.
Work has been tough. Very busy, stressful and kept coming..
Yah yah.. these are nothing big.. i'm just yada yada yada yada..
but sometimes i really need to talk somethings out.. well at least to just..
ermm.. blurt it all off my chest.. i just need to be EXpressive...
and a lil more appreciative maybe..
I'm still young rite.... only 26!!! *sly grin* long way to go... need time to partayyyy...

yeah speaking of party... yes.. *groans*
it's been another bloody century since I last party my pants off..
whyyyyyyy... cos time ain't enough.. or i'm just not finding time too.. huh huh huhhhhh!~

and yes again.. the pix below was taken like... on muharram..
where I have to be at site.. working on a public holiday...
sitting on the balcony of 41st floor.. looking down at one of klcc's entrances..
swarms of tiny humans walking in and out like nobody's biz..
luckily i brought my lappie.. and the weather was okay.. breeezyy.. until....

until I cannot tahan.. hahahha
I went to klcc.. get some late lunch at Dome's..
hanging there by myself.. watching people come and go.. MSN'ing of course..
ahhh loneliness kills... ugh~ until it was time for me to get back to site..

Always ask myself.. "Why work so hard? why??"
Not that I'm complaining bout work.. ~~tho i do sometimes~~
I just still couldn't find a very very satisfyin answer to that question..

Okay enough of the work rubbish...

* * * * *

CNY? yahhhh WAY BACK then.. lol.. but where did I go?
Nahhh nowhere in particular...
Not even shopping or movies or clubbing...
Just home, or friends' houses, or relatives' houses.. everything under the roof..
Dancing from 1 house to the other.. hmmmm...

grumpy lil lady.. lol

giggling lil drunk..

she's a lil de-hydrated.. haha

cam-whore while gambling.. '

everyday-everyhouse-banker..

yours truly...

mak mertua kau.. hahaha

black, white & maybe some texture?

2010-02-08T17:59:00.007+08:00

I like this... not bad.
Very simple yet a there's a style to it.
Hmm.. if only I have my own office.. hmmm then again..
Well, when I have my own place, I might so change my mind again.. hehe
*grins*

Not bad right?

designer's mind varies..

2010-01-25T18:34:00.009+08:00

Someday if I have my own house... hmmm..

I wonder how I'll "style" it up..

Look at my latest "fancies" on residential spaces..

I can't make up my mind.. LOL

I want a bit of this.. a bit of that.. a lot of those.. not so much of these..

Argh.. not that I have a house now.. just..

oh well.. imagination has no limits.. enough said, right? *grins*

some of it is true of what i thought..

2010-01-11T01:58:00.002+08:00

Romanticism Assessment for Michelle Your Score is 64 Percent
		You appear to have a well-balanced romantic self. While you may get flutters in your stomach when you meet someone you are very attracted to, you do not let your romantic-self entirely dictate how you proceed. You will ask yourself if there is a chance this relationship will work before allowing yourself to fall in love. Even if you feel a romantic connection is viable from a practical sense, you will not just allow yourself to be swept away. You do not have many illusions about love. While you may feel a very deep attachment to someone, you know love rarely conquers all. You know successful relationships take work and compromise and a desire by those involved to make their relationship work. Candlelight dinners and words of endless love may be nice, but they don't pay the bills or get the dishes washed. The middle ground on the romanticism scale is neither entirely safe nor entirely lackluster. However it does not carry the weight of a romantic failure based upon being swooped off your feet. Nor is the middle ground so devoid of romanticism that you feel like you are living with a sibling. Also, there is quite a bit of evidence that with your outlook on romanticism your relationship has a very good chance of succeeding.

the days ending with 2009

2010-01-06T02:03:00.008+08:00

aghhh... freelance kicking in a lot lately..
busy and seriously bloody exhausted.

drowning myself in Adam Lambert's Time for Miracle.. sooo emo~
Quite into ballads lately.. especially sad heartbreak emo songs..
like... Nick Lachey's last album.. What's Left of Me..
a couple of songs were pretty good.. the lyrics.. meaning.. his voice..
i mean.. duh.. he sold that album like soon after his divorce.. confirm emo right?
anyway.. never mind that.. listening to emos.. not because i'm heartbreaking or whatsoever..
just blasting these songs straight into my ears.. earphones' wires tangling below my chin.. in the middle of these nights... just brings in the mood to finish up my things.. or in a way to keep me feeling ~~un-lonely~~ "accompanied".. is there such a word? hmmm...

Well well.. i know these pix were running a lil slow to post up now..
but nevertheless, i shall just post some up...
Seeing that I did not celebrate new year... din go pushing and pulling with strangers watching fireworks, counting down the last seconds of 2009..
I just stayed home, in front of my laptop.. surfing.. then watching fireworks on midnight news..

I shall.. whatever.. post these pix up... just for the sake of...
celebrating the ends of my 2009? heeheehee..
the pix were all jumbled up.. din't quite bother to post according..
oh well.. still.. hmm...

End of christmas..
End of 2009...
goodbye and welcome twenty ten~

.

road trip wedding?

2009-12-29T00:21:00.001+08:00

Uni grad friend, Eng got married.
All the way at Kuala Kubu Bharu..
5 of us drove down there in 2 cars.
3 of us girls spent a night in Genting..
Cold Christmas. Fun.
We checked in earlier to freshen up before heading there..
Obviously camwhore is a MUST.

but not enough leh. lol

26th December 2009
All hotels fully booked. No choice but here.
*First World Hotel*

we finally found our way from genting to kuala kubu bharu..
*dinner time*

Food was good.
Friends were great.
Married couple soooo loving.
Ahhh....
LIFE!!~ must enjoy~

*

happy birthday blog

2009-12-25T23:01:00.001+08:00

wow. It's been five years i think.
Five years since i first started blogging? Or six?
Hahah. I can't remember d. Oops.

Anyway Happy Birthday babe's blog. Hehe

Yah before i forget.
MERRY XMAS!!!
love christmas. As always.

Oh well, i'll update tons of pix soon. Previous day trips, holidays, food. Keep tuning in.
Sorry very occupied lately.
Smooches. Forgive me k? :)

girls never say shoes are enough~

2009-12-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

I want to go shoppingg!!!!!!
Year end really really really no "proper" mood to work~~
Keep thinking of holiday-ing (though no plans are made yet)... and shopping!!!

I just bought 3 pairs of heels from Charles&Keith in these last 5 days.
One of 'em is this pix above.
I just feel like spending lately. Buying things I like.
It's some sort of therapy, I must say...
It heals.. erm.. my very weather-like mood which I can be damn emo suddenly lately..
(sounds like a bloody lame excuse right?) *grins*

The year-end-restless-attitude is really eating me up.. hahaha
even Monday blues ain't killing me d. I just so-so-NO IDEA WHY suddenly reacting this way.
Damnit.. can anyone tell me? hehehe

*pauses*

I WANT TO GO SHOPPING!!!
especially not weekends seriously. The crowd is terrible.

.

some son of a bitch

2009-12-03T00:48:00.002+08:00

from time to time sometimes middle of the night i do receive some stupid prank calls from god-knows-who. He'll on some stupid porno moans or just shut up.. Silence. Ditto. So most of the time i'll just put my phone in silent mode n woke up with almost 6 misscalls sometimes from this same number.

This mf genius thinks he's so clever using different numbers to call after me not picking up his calls to test if am i ignoring him a not. Well duh. He's one chao ah beng.

How i know he plays some stupid porno because there was once i heard him fumbling over some remote n quickly press something i guess then the sound effect was right at the moaning part. Disgusting right?
What freaks me was one night i forgot to put on silent mode, i absentmindedly answered his call, he actually for once talked to me in his human voice. In mandarin. I asked him who the hell he is. He said he wrong-numbered call me accidently some time ago n said we eventually just get the tele-conversation going tho it actually caused by a wrong number call. I was like hell NO, i never done any shit like tat before. What the fuck man. I hung up. Then he sms'ed me. Oh fart this pervert knew my name. 米雪 he typed. Asking me this 大小姐 as he quote, out for dinner n stuff. Eiuuu scary shit.

Soon later he no longer contact till recently. Yesterday he called again. I picked up the phone. I mean how the hell do i know is him or not, it's always these few random numbers that obviously i don't save. Anyway again there was silence, i got fed up and cursed 'fuck u'.. And guess what..
This motherfucker sms'ed me which i only read the next morning stating something like.. 'If u wanna fuck, Come fuck me' etc etc.

The best was he got so high-tech this time that he bloody mms'ed me. He sent me a penis 'entering' a vagina. Fuck how gruesome is that. To top that, his mms title was ' :) i want to fuck your fucker.' oh come on, pls prank with proper english. Wtf is fuck your fucker?? Jackass talk man.

To you this motherfucker out there, 1 more mms i'll fucking lodge a police report.

MCcb.

p/s-i might be wrong but i'm suspecting my few years ago's 6yrs older ex but then again he's so chicken-hearted to do stuff like this BUT then again these are quite coward's actions right? Oh well i might be wrong. Might be some other asshole out there. But why would someone want to do shits like this. Gross.

p/p/s-if anyone wan to see the mms he sent me, just lemme know. It's still in my inbox. A well-taken proof.

Fucker grow up.

food in the bowls

2009-11-14T15:46:00.003+08:00

i seldom like '糖水' except the 汤圆 with black sesame or mayb the peanut 糊.. Oh well god knows why suddenly today i feel like having some of mom's healthy 'sweet soups'. Hahah

What do u think this is? Hehe Mom's healthy 八宝粥. Consist of 8 different kinds of beans or nuts. As nutritious as her tastebuds they're all organic as she claims.

Sorry for the lousy photo-taking. Using my phone now to snap and blog at the same time. Hehe

- yesterday -

As usual, ManYee and i will drop by Kim Gary at Plaza Damas after endless hours of OT. 9.30 is always their last call so we're always their last customers. Been there so often (indirectly simply means we've OT-ing a lot lately) we're kinda familiar n sorta playful with the waiters. Drawing smiley faces on the menu while waiting for our orders to be taken. And last night both of us ordered the same korean noodles n both got a surprise in our bowls..

Cute right? Haha..

i heart seafood

2009-11-04T23:23:00.011+08:00

Went down to Kuala Selangor to visit my aunty..
at the same time eat seafooodd at Pasir Penambang!!
*prawns prawns*~~

Oh well... pictures tell a thousand words..
Lazy to elaborate... =P
Actually is tired. Just got back from work. Sigh.

It was still early.
This is my first time here..
Normally we'll take the 2nd left turn into Pasir Penambang for seafood.
Famous restaurants like River View or Jetty.
This time we took the first turn. There's another red signage by the main road.
Mom said here is much nicer.. and cheaper.
So let's try!!! *grins*

!!! Restoran Makanan Laut Bagan !!!

the food: typical homemade tofu fry, seafood porridge,
salted egg crab, sizzling satay prawns and kongpoh mantis prawn..
*hearts* mantis prawns + prawns.
immaaa prawnn queen~

This is the signage from the main road. *above*
Turn left in.. all the way straight.. there's a temple..
It's after the temple.. Very easy to find.

After early dinner... we went deeper into Pasir Penambang to buy.......
TIDBITS!! hehehe
This is just opposite the River View restaurant.
Tons of biscuits, crackers... snacks to buy.

3 for 10 bucks anyone?
Heheh.. A nice half-day trip.
Many many more to come, I hope.
I need all the rest and relax I can get. =P

-

not enough ghost.... hmmm.

2009-11-03T23:52:00.001+08:00

*grins*

more coming right up. =P

abstinence? do you...??

2009-11-01T20:58:00.001+08:00

I was browsing around as usual..
And came across this pix at Google Images..

Heheh.. looking at this pix first.. made me laugh obviously.. *grins*
till I read the article attached to it.
Oh.. It's "the" new way to teach kids nowadays on abstinence.

Quoted from this website..

A sorta funny.. true in some ways kinda stating the pro n cons of educating sex.
It says..

"Abstinence-only advocates disallowed teaching teens about condoms since they felt it encouraged sex. This is bad news, because teens have desires and wills of their own, and even if you don't have sex education at your school, they're STILL GOING TO FUCK."

"Highschool guys have to masturbate eight times a day just to be able to think straight, and you think saying "Abstinence works" is going to mean anything to them? At the same time, when a female of the same age walks, clouds of pheromones waft all over the place."

I mean seriously.. we DO need to educate the youngster nowadays bout sex.
Don't we?

Anyway.. I'm still at work. OT-ing again. Goddarrnnittt~~!!!!!
hopefully i'll be alert enough to upload the halloween pixs tonight.

*mwah*

~~hate OT. Not that we get paid for overtime. grunts~~

-

pumpkins, ghosts, hmm.... cobwebs?

2009-10-31T23:28:00.001+08:00

Happy hallowweennn peepss!!

Just went for a halloween costume party last night..
We had a blast... din't we? hehe..

and guess who am i?? hehehe

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

so... it's easy..
come on..
at least TRY!! =P

more updates coming up soon..
till then.. *mwah*

pardon me for my idiotic-ness

2009-10-23T01:22:00.002+08:00

oh well.
When you're too hungry yet you have no appetite to eat BUT yet you know your body need some food after a bloody long day at work.. this will so happen to ~~you~~ ME.

Agghhh..!!!!

So lame, right?
Damn. I din even finish it.
I mean the food, not the sentence.
Actually yeahhh, and the sentence too.

Hmmm..

love, hate and a bit of shit

2009-10-11T00:42:00.003+08:00

my god. Din't realise it's been this long since i last pen my ramblings here.

Pathetic enough to say that i'm busy as hell. Lately rushing for some tender job that freeze my logical mind sense. Argh.. Somehow getting very absent-minded these days. It's getting worst day by day. Trust me.

Oh darn. I'm developing this love-hate "relationship" with my job. I love what i'm doing but yet this love betrays my another love to really enjoy life.. or should i say youth. Haha. No larh not that absurd reason. Just sometimes things at work don't go my way or sometimes things got from sanddust mess to mind-blowing complications, it's really really frustrating. Love the challenge and my capability in solving some issue or overcome such and such but hate it at the same time. It's like wtf is wrong with me. Darnnit.

Oh gag. You get what i'm trying to place my mind here?

No? Sounds like just nags and unnecessary complaints. Or LOA shitloads??

Oh shat. I'm fucking messed up.
Hahahahaha.

Ignore me.
I'm just trying to spit my stress balls out and hating the fact that i just came back from work an hour ago, lying on my bed now.. tired n restless while right at this bloody lifeless second my wild besties are clubbing like there's no tomorrow at the other side of town. -___-

Speaking of this.... Fuck It!!!

*the last two words were quoted straight from someone replying my sms when i told i couldn't make it tonight*

:)

Black Party

2009-09-26T18:08:00.002+08:00

Mana I pergi??
Hehehehee...

black and white or add a hint of red??

2009-09-21T15:44:00.002+08:00

Sigh. I can't make up my mind which one to use?
I want to print one ~~huge-ass~~ poster to put in my room.
Anyone kind enough to help me decide??

I like these kind of 'poster'... Audrey & Monroe..
Classic yeh? So which which??
*grins*

.

doubting and disinterested leading on

2009-09-16T02:26:00.007+08:00

Been awhile since I last spluttered some words out here..
Busy at usual.. but feeling ain't that enthusiastic anymore.

I started to hate what I really like doing. Sometimes I must say.
These nerves really testing my patience.
y'know.. it's all stucked up my throat..
not knowing the right words to spill out here..

I was told my patience wearing thin, heavy mood swings..
which somehow I am aware of most of the times ONLY after it happened.
At seconds when I trumpet-ed out, instantly I regretted.
It's getting harder and harder to control due to some reasons I shall not disclose.
I tried to break out from the emo gut feeling..
but sometimes it just took off, not allowing me to hit the brakes.
Where's my warning???
It's suffocating looking at all of it smeared everywhere on my table.

I know it's duhh... daily affairs.. same old same old.. but I'm getting pretty tired.
Decision-making are dreadful especially when you're not belt-ed to the driver seat.
Pondering on yes's and no's ended up.. to maybe, not sure, will get back to you soon.
I longed for previous peaceful times and not as present to be thrown behind cold bars.
Time's ticking fast.. i know..
some say there ain't enough time to catch up with the world spinning like nobody's business... but somehow I think slow & steady ain't that bad either. At least to learn new things. Being suddenly thrown smack right into the middle.. deserting you in the midst of nowhere.
To pick up everything on your own, only words and actions of "despised" sarcasm to keep you accompany. I've really got no clue on how long more I can possibly stand.
The urge to do better sometimes ain't there anymore due to some unexpected results.
The drive is gone. I'm seeking it back. BADLY.
I do not wish or want to let go what I've accomplished so far..
thus the "hanging-in-there" is still on. ON for good.
I want to challenge me. I want to see how far more I can "mugged" all this down.

But at the same time, I really need to get some "screaming" done and over with.
Some way some how. If not I smell my stir to trouble.
I need to release.
But I still do not know how.
Goddamnit.

...

i do play foosball you knowww

2009-08-27T20:19:00.003+08:00

I want this!!
I want I want!!

CRY!!
I just i did something wrong at work.
My gawddd.. it totally slipped off my mind..
and I din't get to pass the message to the intended person..
Shitss!! *screams*

I'm so SO screwed!!

..