What could have been mine?? part 2
Sometimes a part of me just want to scream out loud because I just want it so much.. And a part of me is already giving up. Why? If I know why, I wouldn't end up where I am & how I am feeling today..
Sometimes.. when the thing just doesn’t come to u no matter how much effort u put in, it'll NEVER belong to u. So just sit at the corner n bloody start sulking. Reminder : It's not the end of the world, but it sure feels like it.
Sometimes thinking & thinking.. Do I really have to be in this situation??! I have a choice to make. It is MY decision but why am I still holding back~!? Why do I still hope for some miracles to happen when the truth is already pasted right on my forehead?!?!? Cause I just couldn't just let all go & act as if nothing happened.
Sometimes I wonder. Suddenly cold, suddenly hot.. it's driving me nuts!! I'm already half a nut and it's like it's making me nuttier. Sheeshhh.. Killing all my brain cells, Grabbing my attention away from the reality world, pulling into my world and shoved my gravity there. Seriously I don't wanna stuck or just live in my own dreamy-land where everything goes in the way as how I wish it to be. I want to believe in reality but it just hurts. Hurts till I'm numb all the way through. That's why I didn't want to start at the first place, it's uncontrollable & it’s getting out of handd..
Sometimes it lets me down, sometimes I really break down. Sometimes it's remarkable like how u change me faster than the damn weather report. Yet why do I feel so sick in my stomach? Why do I feel I'm goin to fall into a deep sleep where you no longer don't exist? Whyy?!
Sometimes I just want to know the truth!! Directions!! Want to know its thoughts!! I don't live my entire life merely waiting for rejection. I need hints. Probably I'm getting hints, it's just that I ain't wanna believe it. Spill it!!~
I am real inside. But not out.
Why?
I am gutless.
Sometimes a part of me just want to scream out loud because I just want it so much.. And a part of me is already giving up. Why? If I know why, I wouldn't end up where I am & how I am feeling today..
Sometimes.. when the thing just doesn’t come to u no matter how much effort u put in, it'll NEVER belong to u. So just sit at the corner n bloody start sulking. Reminder : It's not the end of the world, but it sure feels like it.
Sometimes thinking & thinking.. Do I really have to be in this situation??! I have a choice to make. It is MY decision but why am I still holding back~!? Why do I still hope for some miracles to happen when the truth is already pasted right on my forehead?!?!? Cause I just couldn't just let all go & act as if nothing happened.
Sometimes I wonder. Suddenly cold, suddenly hot.. it's driving me nuts!! I'm already half a nut and it's like it's making me nuttier. Sheeshhh.. Killing all my brain cells, Grabbing my attention away from the reality world, pulling into my world and shoved my gravity there. Seriously I don't wanna stuck or just live in my own dreamy-land where everything goes in the way as how I wish it to be. I want to believe in reality but it just hurts. Hurts till I'm numb all the way through. That's why I didn't want to start at the first place, it's uncontrollable & it’s getting out of handd..
Sometimes it lets me down, sometimes I really break down. Sometimes it's remarkable like how u change me faster than the damn weather report. Yet why do I feel so sick in my stomach? Why do I feel I'm goin to fall into a deep sleep where you no longer don't exist? Whyy?!
Sometimes I just want to know the truth!! Directions!! Want to know its thoughts!! I don't live my entire life merely waiting for rejection. I need hints. Probably I'm getting hints, it's just that I ain't wanna believe it. Spill it!!~
I am real inside. But not out.
Why?
I am gutless.
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