Thursday, August 31, 2006

puntianak merdeka

Countdown last night??
Once a year, Merdeka countdown... I was at home though the fact is that I don't mind cos I'm SO not a merdeka countdown person. Believe it or not.. For 22 years alive as a "silent patriotic" Malaysian, I had never NEVER involved in any merdeka countdown unless you take it as singing "Tanggal 31" with my sibs in front of the tv last night. hahaha..

After a mamaking session, I was chilling at home, rewarding myself by watching a local movie Puntianak - Scent of the Tuber Rose 2. My dad bought in Miri when he was there on a business trip. VCD = 2 bucks only. Cheap yeh?? Don't even ask me why he bought that puntianak movie. He didn't know why himself too.. ahahaha (see!! I watched a local film on Merdeka's night, ain't I patriotic?? Told ya I'm a silent supporter!! ahhahahah)

" Tidak dinafikan bahawa sequel kepada Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam mempunyai lebih banyak aksi yang 'canggih'... " - one of the critics' review

Err... I didn't watch the Part 1, so therefore it was quite difficult for me to digest the movie in the first place. My first encounter on this movie was.. when I went to TGV S2 for as built, the cinema auditorium door was opened, all I could hear was "Puntianakkkkkk....eeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....pulangkan anak aku...." sound effects. One weird thing that I kinda watched in disbelief was that.. do puntianak come out in the morning?? I thought only at nighhtt...

What I gained from watching this movie about "puntianak" till 2am last night were....
1. BANSHEE is the english word for puntianak
2. Puntianak climb trees
3. Puntianak can't recognised its own 'daughter'
4. Puntianak can be defeated by the 'spirit of the dancing horses'
5. Puntianak can go shopping in the morning market.
6. Puntianak can love and be loved.
7. Puntianak loves manicure & lotsa black eyeliner.
8. Puntianak loves new-born babies.

Despite the plot of the story was a bit messy.. but overall.. the acting was ok. Maya Karin's facial expression is really good... and she can act... she can bounce from the innocence-girly-virgin to some sort of evil-ghastly-bloodcurdling look, unlike some look-alike-bimbo-who-can't-differenciate-her-happy-and-crying-facial-expression model Am.. who I don't think I should mention, hor??

Nevertheless, Maya is really gorgeuos. Watching her as puntianak.. I really think she do has that natural eerie banshee face.. ahhaha. I so much more prefer watching this movie than that so-overbudget Puteri Gunung Ledang that snores its unique way to sleep.

I think I'll get the Part 1 to watch.
One day.. Hehe.

Oh yeahh.. hafway through the movie, my brother wanna watch the live screening of the merdeka countdown in Sarawak. Hahaha.. we sang 'Negaraku', 'KeranaMu Malaysia', 'Jalur Gemilang' and 'Tanggal 31' altogether.

Sissy but fun... once in awhile mar.. No harm kayyzz??? =P

Salammm MerDeka, people!!!~

ps : Berny.. thanks for your birthday card. Surprisingly touched... Didn't know got early preparation... Thanks dear. Very Much in fact. =)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

i'm all konked-out

Brain clogged... blog blocked!!~
Don't know what to crap about today.

Single-mindedly I was the earliest today, the sad case was that.. BLOODY I WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE.. others' sleeping 'sio sio' on their bed bunks. Lagi-lagi no class today. F^! Darn.

Lunch + YumChar + Chill + Fag Party
Time - 12.30pm till 4.30pm. Today.
Venue - Neighbourhood Cafe
Invited - Only Michelle, Farah, Daryle, Phoenix & Tung

Crazy conversations & dirty secrets digging throughout the whole session. Tung!!~ Gosh.. Pro man. Seriously, you can't judge a book by its cover. He can actually *toot* the *toot toot toot* few times in a week. GAWkKKkk~!~~ Hhhahahahhaha *salutes* He was terribly shy today that the girls attacked his personal stories. Beh tahan. And he bloody complimented on my tits. Damn it. Phoenix also!!! Fair and attractive.. hahahhaha Kononnn~~ I never heard before attractive tits.

I'm crapping on short sentences because I'm all restless and lazy that hols are all over and done with.
Really still konked-out in my brain.
Tomorrow classes are at 9.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

class tomorrow..


A sigh of huge huge relief just let out. My mom's friends, my aunties were like cramming in my house for dinner tonight. Busy entertaining. This, that, and that.. and these.. and thosee.. Ughhh!!~ My last night of holidays turned into a bloody workaholic nightmare.

Am so not ready mentally for class tomorrow.
Am so not feeling like going.
I know I'm mumbling again. Shits.

Was chatting with Kelvin just now. Argh. He asked me about class tomorrow.
Why oh WHYyy did he mention bout class?
I don't wanna go to class.. I wanna stay home.. I wanna holidays.. n I want to sleeppp...

I really really really really hope I can be early tomorrow or at least on-time to meet the rest of the gang in class between 9.30am - 10am.

I promise I'll kill that "punctuality" habit. Soon. Errr.. yeahh REAL SOON.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

beneathhhh.. err.. where?

Good news.
I checked my results online. I'm happy with it. WoooHooo~~~ Passed my first sem!!~ But I was quite disappointed with my Tech. All hardwork of measuring, hassle, tight-deadlines, tears, chaos, heaty conversations lead to only a C+. Well, life still goes on.

Bad news.
Daryle told me that classes are starting next Monday. Bloody hell. Redzwan told me our department will be starting only first week of September. This is killing me mann.. Though holidays are a bit boring but still I can do whatever shits I want. Now I ought to prepare myself for another few hellish months, driving up to Cheras everyday, massive jams, less movie dates, less yum char sessions, and more to locking myself up in the room finishing my assignments. Shits happen and it's happening again. To me. Darn.


A sudden (another) urge of watching a movie. Coincidently LayFong called. Meeting up at our old place around 3.30pm but I know I'll be late. Seriously.. I have this super bad habit which is I cannot be punctual... WHY?? I'm really trying very very hard to throw this away but just couldn't. I'm always late. For classes, dates, movie, appointments.. even for work last time. Unless it is really really really really important, I'll be super early like err.. half hour earlier?? but it is very seldom. Anyone with tips on time management? I really need that.

Went Jusco AGAIN!! My holiday getaway is like the Jusco 'resort'. Almost everyday I'm there. I think I did repeat this a couple of times on my previous posts. The movie - Beneath Still Waters was at 4.30pm. The movie overall is about cults, forgotten legend, blood, bones, eerie creepy broken heads-arms-legs-other body parts and some fugly-looking sunken town. A few parts of the movie really don't make any sense. I'm lazy to elaborate, but there were some cuts that were pretty scary and gross, I was like stuffing the chachos into my mouth to calm myself down. hahaha...

"50 years ago a town was flooded and made into a man made lake. However the sunken town comes alive again as a boy (Antonio) vanishes swimming on a moonlit night while his girlfriend (Clara) looks on. The very shoreline turns hungry, pulling people into the water. And below where it is so incredibly cold and dark, the sunken town waits for whoever foolishly dives down to it. Because Beneath Still Waters... something ancient now stirs, and a forgotten legend lives again. Half a century ago they thought that they buried the horror forever."


Watching the movie.. will make you think twice whether if ARE you REALLY NOT afraid of the WATER?

Overall Michella'ratos - 6.5/10


HELP!!! My mom influenced my 9-years old brother into liking Hokkien songs. Both of them.. 3 nights in a row.. Hokkien-based KTV blasting the songs for hours in the hall!! The MVs... HORRIBLE!!! bikini girls dancing around to a heart-break love song.. What THE HELL??!??! Can't take it anymoree!!~~ HAHahahhaha laughing my ass out now mann.. Disturbing me mentally.. Can't blog dy.. Hahahhaa

Friday, August 25, 2006

life is so fragile

Woke up at 7.30am this morning.
Yeah.. I know I seldom do that..
The reason is.. please don't blurt out laughing like a mad cow ok.
I went jogging.
Taman Rakyat, Andalas.

Konon-nya with Phoenix, but eventually I was late for 15minutes so she went ahead first. In less words, we flew each others' kite. The last time I went jogging this early was like beginning of this year. So it was a miracle that I got my ass up this morning. I'm not even that early for classes, or appointments, or even dates.

Oh damnit. I hate the feeling of 'losing' someone we dearly love. Imagine.. I take it personally hard to even lose a person I love.. as in just losing him as not being my boyfriend anymore.. but what if the person is dead.. leaving us all, heading to paradise upthere?? Why do people need to die? Yea.. I know it is a stupid question but.. sighhh...

Why am I crapping on all this is because.. as I was blogging just now.. I came across this other blog - In Memories of David Thong . (click
here for the blog) Through my brief reading, David died last year, diagnosed with Liver Cancer, his blog & friendster now taken over his siblings as a memorial to him.. Sighhhh.... Some of the sentences that really really moved me.. terriblyy..

David Thong T.C.
Born - 02 /02/1976
Departed - 11/10/2005

Picked from his writings before his death...

"...I told some friends that I've got diagnosed with Liver Cancer but they thought i was fooling around..."

"...I should be a Vegetarian for life if I ever want to live longer... I will not stand down... I have to be cheerful and positive thoughts are also important. There are chances for me to get fully cured as I am still young... I believe that if I got faith to myself... anything is possible. At the mean time I will do more research on how to improve my survival..."

After his death.. from his family & friends..

"...just got a call frm them yesterday saying that the 'place' and the memorial inscribtion stone for my bro is ready and 'ready' to 'move' in ...hmmnnnn... when we arrive there.. i still couldnt belived that my bro already gone.."

"....I remembered begining (after the car accident somewhere around feb-april) that year 2005 for some unknown (or known) reason i begin to prayed esp hard for my family, was waking up at 4-5am and praying for like an 15min-half an hour a day. Later when i read about Dave roberson book on 'walk of Spirit walk of power' i begin to pray in tongues almost everyday..."

"...It was around 3 am in the morning. I was sleeping on the floor in my parent's room. Suddenly, i heard my mom weeping. With much effort, i crawled to my mom side to comfort her. I knew her heart was in real pain and sorrow. My heart was in great pain too. I couldn't accept the fact that my bro has already gone. However, i force myself to sleep and try to put the fact out of my mind. With my arm embracing her shoulder, i gradually went asleep..."

Reading from the beginning of him having a blog till his last breath, till his siblings took over, describing the last minutes of his life.. the funeral.. the mourning... UGHH!!!~ The more I read, the more my heart softened, the more it makes me feel the loss, the more I'm getting deep down, the more I cannot take it, the more I feel we really need to treasure life. I cannot bear to read more any longer nor post some of it here. But gradually bad things do happen to good people. Sometimes we just dont understand why it happen this way but in reality it does. It's really hurting me inside. I think I'm gonna cry.

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little--but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss Me--But Let me Go!

Ok. End of today's post.

Thursday, August 24, 2006


"..wearing a bra.. has no medical necessity whatsoever.. Except for the women who find bras especially comfortable or uncomfortable, the decision to wear or not wear one is purely aesthetic - or emotional... If you don't enjoy it, and job or social pressures don't force you into it, don't bother."

Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, by Dr. Susan Love

To BRA or to WITHOUT BRA?!??!?!

Well, for me.. I'm fine going out braless. Why not? But I don't let or purposely let my titties peek-a-boo out ok. I'm NOT flat and I'm NOT super-huge-juggs, I'm not complimenting on my own but mine is just fine, so don't worry it won't juggle up & down like nobody's business.

Seriously.. what's the problem with not wearing a bra in public?? Some people may think of how their breasts are presented to the public, but only at the risk of drawing attention to themselves from men. Women then choose to wear bras for comfort, to ward off what they wrongly fear would be worse stretching and sagging, and to avoid unwanted public attention. Very few women choose to go braless. But whyy?? What century are you in now? I mean.. it's not that to go braless everyday but certain times depending on what occasion it is going to be.. just treat your titties a bit rather than locking them up in cup dungeons??? With not wearing a bra you just gotta be wearing that right top. Is it that hard?? Besides whether or not you wear a bra.. everyone still knows how your breasts will look like.. just mountains of fats with nipples.

Speaking of fats, I think these should stay with BRA & hidden.. to me at least..

For more "extraordinary" jugs, click here and here.

Anyway, back to the topic. Even if a woman can reasonably go braless in public, comparatively few women choose to because of social attitudes and peer pressure. If a woman's breasts move freely and her nipples are evident, she is often seen in a sexual way and sometimes from a negative viewpoint.

It is so common to find braless models in magazines like Vogue, Elle, and Harper's Bazaar. While these models are socially acceptable, it continues to exist a double standard for women who go braless in public. They may be seen as sexually available or just lacking in good taste. But why you just flipped it and not TRY it?? It's yours.. It's YOU not for those slimy furry smelly guys.

** click to enlarge **

Depending on the country, culture, venue, event, the kind of top or blouse worn, and on the size of her breasts and nipples, a braless woman can receive an wide array of responses. But WHY?? The woman's attitude will determine how she carries herself. She may be flaunting it or simply not care what attention her braless bosom gets. (Duh.. Malaysian.. Sighh~ Oh should I say Asian....~~)

A small-breasted girls can get away with going braless, even on the job, if she wears an appropriate top or camisole underneath. But she still runs the risk of a cold draft or even friction against her own clothing causing her nipples to become erect & visible. Being obviously braless is in some circumstances can be somewhat provocative or perhaps inappropriate. Guess probably this is the reason.. Sighhhhh

Big big dong-dongs girls, or with large nipples, go braless in public may be woooo ~~ super flaunting it for "sociopolitical" reasons, may not care, may just want to be themselves, or they just enjoy whatever head turning they encounter. Hahahha.. Just be comfortable okay.. that's all that matters..

GET A NIPPLE TAPE thennnn....

Bra or no Bra?? No bra sagged it.. with bra kill it??? So what's up with all those??? Well, I was surfing just now.. noticing this page where indicates... >> Some experts are concerned that wearing a bra may contribute to breast disease, including breast cancer. A study on 4,500 women in 5 cities across the U.S. and their habits in purchasing and wearing bras.<<

- 3 out of 4 women who wore their bras 24 hours per day developed breast cancer

- 1 out of 7 women who wore bras more than 12 hour per day but not to bed developed breast cancer.

- 1 out of 152 women who wore their bras less than 12 hours per day got breast cancer

- 1 out of 168 women who wore bras rarely or never acquired breast cancer

The experts counsel women to go braless whenever possible, certainly when at home and always while in bed. So while it is possible if not recommended that women go braless whenever they can, very few do. Why??? Paiseh larr!! Scared people see lar.. or drop out la.. (like what my mom always say larrr.. haiyerrr)

Women's breasts are NOT only sexual objects!!!

In fact, I think we are more obsessed about our breasts than men. We buy all kinds of bras to make our boobs look good under that certain t-shirt, sweater, blouse, or dress. There is a huge market for all kinds of brassieres, except for the plain white cotton bra. It's like "What the Hell???"

Typically and stereotype thinking... BIGBIG women may draw attention, and they know this when they choose to go braless. If they are at the supermarket, they may be ignored. But if they are at a football game, they may get a very receptive audience.

Ask yourself... " I'm only young once. How many braless years do I still have? "

Sigh but the end of the day.. it's all & always about "self-respect". Conservative shits.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Goody-2-shoes day!!~
The day where immediate decisions were to be made.
The day where I have to wake up at 7am just to pick up my house-phone that ain't for me.
The day where my best buddy wanna 'cut' her eyes.
The day where my Juju prefer kawaii over me.
The day where I slept throughout my whole dinner.
The day where tomorrow, something is gonna change... for good

Seriously. I woke up today at 7am just to answer a stupid phone-call. Thanks to my mom, who once took out the house-line phone from my room. According to her.. I chatted too much on the phone.. I mean.. who doesn't at the age of 'high-school' era?? I was in love then.. obviously I ought to talk to my boyfriend right and they were so not getting me a mobile till I was like what.. 17?? (Yaya.. speaking of sad case. This was one bloody sad case & since my phone got stolen last week.. I HAVEN'T GET A NEW PHONE YET!! ugghhH~)

So my uncle called.. asking for my mom. AGAIN seriously.. why can't he just call her mobile?? My mom wasn't even home.. fetching my sis to school. I ought to like force myself to hear what the hell he was saying cos I was BLUR & he was yelling in the phone. (Not as in rude yells, but just he's old & he speaks loud.. and I mean.. REAL LOUD) He called just to tell my mom that they will be dropping by my house by 10am. Cos they're coming all way from Sekinchan.

Fine. I slowly crawled back to my bed.. cursing my ass off cos I gotta to wake up at 8am which was like another 45 minutes to coze on bed. LayFong was coming over to pick me up for BahKutTeh breakfast. Who knows she woke up late.. and I was way too lazy to wake her up myself as she was the one supposed to wake me up. Haha. The laziness in us caused us to cancel our manicure appointments. Sigh.

Anyway I woke up around like 10am. "Signing a big contract" in my "office" for quite sometime till my uncle, aunt, cousin, niece, another niece.. and another niece.. AND ANOTHER NIECE came knocking on my door. 4 nieces aged 6, 4, 3 and few months old. My house filled with KIDS running, yelling, screaming.. and my brother, the lucky little only-boy-kid.. smiling and playing with them like a king.

Bloody. My mom ordered me to get ready all the ingredients for her-making-in-process lunch. I washed, I drained, I cut, I chopped, I slice, I minced, and after all-set.. I CABUT. Showered, changed & all-perfumed... Waiting for LayFong. Made an emergency call to her to ASAP her way to my house as I WAS SO DESPO to get out from my house.

Went to Jusco AGAIN!!~ (JUSCO really ought to gimme a LOYAL consumer award) My cashflow was stucked. She bought FCUK glasses. We got our coke and we left Jusco, just killing time cos her 'eye-cut' appointment was at 2. Ya.. wondering what was the 'eye-cut' thingy?? It is the double eyelid surgery thingy.. like your eyes single lid.. u doubled it. Get what I mean?? Err.. no words to elaborate.. kinda lazy to put it in a right verse. Something like the pic below.

So we went looking for this place. Neither one of us been there obviously. SherYee went for it and looked good, so that's why LayFong wanted it. "No pain, no gain, no beauty wor" Hehe.. Finally found it. A double-terrace house. (WHat are you thinking, huh?? WHy house.. why not clinic or something else.. my mind was like "ILLEGAL") Outside the house was a small carved label - Ann-Marie's. The name sounded nice but the lady was... ugghhhhh horrible-looking-short-heavily-makeup-ICI coated-opera face. She's really good in marketing skills.

Something like this.. (all in mandarin)

Ann-Marie (AM) : Hi. I'm Ann-Marie (which she couldn't even pronouce her own name.. she said e-me-rri) So who's doing the treatment?
LF : Hi. It's me. Miss Tan. Made appointment at 2.
AM : Oh ok. Hey you are really pretty. (then she looked at me) Wow.. you girls are really pretty. so young.. and so fair.. really good complexion
** me and Layfong was like UGHH!!~ we both hated her.. just that we're there for her treatment**
AM : (Looked at me again) You're cute pretty girl. Why you don't want to go for the treatment too.. You got dimples just like me.. so pretty.. you should do it too.. then you'll have sparkly eyes.. brightened up your face.

MT : no thanks.. i'm just here for her.
AM : Sighh. you should. young people do it.. will surely look very nice. Moreover you girls have good skin.. and nice eyes..
yada yada yada yada~~~~ she crapped none stop bout the same sentence for like 10 minutes or maybe more... I don't care how my eyes look or how I look.. I'm fine with my looks.. why not she just intro me bust enlargements and speaking of her marketing skills.. other than bodek..what does she know?? and.. lousy bodek-ness. and her bust??? BIG!!~

Appointment at 2pm & LayFong's turn was like almost 4. Why? The doctor ain't there yet. She brought us to this BingHan Ginseng Powder Sales Office thingy.. She was having her OPP rehersal there..Singing, swaying and dancingg.. Eeiuuu... Me & LayFong sat there like 2 pathetic dungus looking at photo albums. SHIT.

Finally almost 3.30pm the doctor came. Driving a new honda accord, pretty tall & slim with BIG lumpy bi-dongdongs. Not sure which are genuine assets. When she talks, so CHINA accent, so obviously CHINA lady lor. She is a cosmetic surgeon, if not mistaken. Can see the services she provides at the namecard below.

LayFong's treatment - a new pair of double eye-lid & eye liposuction cost 2k. All done in 20 minutes with antibiotics pills. It wasn't surgery.. just some thread, line.. fats.. treatment. That's how she told me le. And she only complained one thing.. PAIN!!!! PAIN!!! PAINNNN!!!!!

This is the Ann-Marie's card with her house address & contacts. Somehow the doctor's name & number are so not in there & nowhere in sight in her house. Weird huh? Keep thinking people..

LayFong's eyes came out fine. Swollen again but will be better as days pass by. She's already pretty sweet-looking so now.. I bet her boyfriend have to kill the others bees swarming over her.. Before her, there was this aunty. Old and "suka cantik"... can see from her strawberry toe-nail art. Hers came out really natural.. cos her eyes already wrinkled and all and according to the doctor, she cried in the room 'cos she couldn't stand the pain. Hahaa.. Serious.. No pain.. no gain!!~

The second both of them walked out from the treatment room, Ann-Marie was like.. "WAHHhhhh so pretty.. so natural.. WahhhhhWAHHhh" all her AbFab comments spilling out from her fake-perfect-shaped lips. Drama-Queen. As we were leaving.. she told me.. "Michelle.. next time your turn k." Gave her a goofy shitty smile and whispered "In your dreamsss.....biattchhh"

Illegal experience!!~~

Monday, August 21, 2006

luther.. great 'ol luther..

Oh my gosh. I've been listening to Luther Vandross songs so frequent that only today I've found out that he was dead. (Yaya.. call me a ulu-dungu or whatever.. I still like his songs no matter what ok) Luther Vandross was undeniably one of the most significant vocalists. Sigh.. but he's so DEAD all 'cos of stroke & diabetes.

Sighhh.. To me.. sadly said he was really really an unforgettable presence and one of the most influential vocalists of our time... Why do all good people diee?????

His great hit before his death - Dance with My Father - (not sure if I've mentioned in earlier posts that I really liked this song) is just so memorable. Can get a glimpse of the video in my friendster. The first time I've heard it.. well.. it was so-so.. just okay. But as I slowly indulge into it.. ooo~~ tears shall fall if you really get into the lyrics and all.. Call me a cry-baby but I'm just in touch with my sensitive side. Emotions are God's gifts, and that's why romance should never die in this world...

Buy me a Rose... He can seriously sing like no other.

Once said...
"a boy so mellow, so powerful; a boy of rare, rare vintage"

Sunday, August 20, 2006

coincidence day

SAT yesterdayyyy - Aug 19

Well, as I thought it was going to be a boring sleepy Saturday, things started to cheer up a bit. Err.. at least that was what I thought. My brother suggested us to go for that Aquatic Reptille Exhibition at EngAnn Hall this afternoon. Cheap but lousy. Why? You'll see as I go on. Adults - 5 bucks, kids - 3 bucks. My siblings were given discount coupons in school, just minus a buck only ler.. Makes not much difference to me though.

So I was all urged up to go. Konon, there were big snakes, monkeys, turtles, porcupines & stuff. When I reached there, the parking lots were like err.. empty.. except one or two cars. Well, I guess something was definitely fishy. The kids insisted on going in. Ugh!! I miss my bed!!~

Paid. Went in. OH MY GOSH!!!!
First impression..

Sigh. But it wasn't all THAT bad though it was a VERY BAD first impression. But then what do you expect? 5 bucks only. Only 4 things really caught my eye was...

- the super white monkey with super thick fur named Ah-Soon, who only likes girls & drinks Dutch Lady Choc Milk.. (Konon from Amazon, why such a lame ah-beng name? Girls? Ya.. I noticed.. horny monkey keep staring)
- the smallest African monkey - who are just hanging there bodoh-ly (couldn't figured out whether monkey or stupid squirrels... their names?? lili & lulu... *#&$^*&$^*&#@)
- turtle alligator -stuck in a huge glass tank where he can't move at all, stoned, with a 'JANGAN MASUK TANGAN' paper sticked to it (it does look like a allligator with a huge turtle shell.. thousand years old dy.. for real???)
- the super super huge bloody fat-ass snake. Python I guess. (lie there like a big roll of shit)

Eh, you can't expect me to go read all the description as they are on skimpy manila cards, written with black markers with wrong spellings, and YES wrong MALAY spellings. Yucks!!~

Afternoon. Met up with LayFong again. Nothing to do. Movie again. Haha.. And I'm so bloody low life. Go Jusco 4 days in a row. Luckily I am home today. Gosh know nowhere to go today. Supposedly to meet Joye up for a drink but kinda cancelled or postponed 'coz she haven't get back to me & LayFong called. So eventually, she was sitting next to me in the cinema with her dah-ling. Unexpected coincidence. Same movie, same time, different companion. ahhaah..

Bloody Raymond flew my kite 2 days in a row. Thanks a lot buddy-piggg....

Ok. The movie. Not that bad but just typically a daily-life shit. It seems real in a way that every bloody couple definitely went through all those when they were bickering & trying to get each other all jealousy & stuff. And guys.. so typically foolish sometimes.. errr.. most of the time though. Whether they act stupid (KELVIN.. yes!! YOU!!! lol~) or they're really stupid. Yes, I know girls are complicated subjects but still.. if you love them enough.. understand them la... Like that movie, Gary believes he's fighting for the condo, it's Brooke who is fighting for their relationship to stay alive. The lemons issue? Not the lemons but.. the thoughts, the care, the appreciation. Sigh.. forget it.. guys.. still guyss..

Oh ya.. Vince actually lost 26lbs for the role. hahah. seriouslyy.... Jenn.. pheww~~ still as FIT as ever though her wrinkles kinda obvious when you're watching her face close at the huge screen.

she really naked in there?? or nipple tapes?? Hehe..

"At the end of the movie, they meet again on the streets of Chicago uneventfully. After some words, they part ways, glancing at one another while smiling."

- not quite what I've expected. I really thought it might have been a happy-ending-get-back together finale. But it was cool. I forgot bout the title though. BREAK-UP.

Overall Michella'ratos - 7/10


SUN todayyyy - Aug20

Today. My aunty woke me up super early (at 8am.. yaya.. not very early.. but it is a SUNDAY!!) for a dimsum breakfast & chit-chatting. Skip the chit-chatting part. Boring old stuff.

The highlight of today (it is 5.33pm now) my stupid female rabbits GAVE BIRTH again!!!~ Another 5 kiddos. Crazy shits. Scare the hella outta me when I checked on them this morning after my breakfast. I was like wondering.. what were those little pink balls at the end of the cage?? EEiiuuu!!~~~ Kids again!!~ I really did freaked out because we did separate bubu & his girl after she gave birth to the early 5. I called my dad.. told him the 'good' news. He called me crazy, a nutcase. An impossible crap to happen. No sex, how to get babies? So, my mom playfully just called Jamal (dad's worker, so-called weekdays house keeper) to pass his the news that he's a grandpa again.. Then only we knowww... he was the one to put the horny rabbits together to shit out a few kids again. Well, he had his dreams come true.

Horny rabbits.
Can really fuck none-stop for like hours.
I stood there and watched them did their thing when we put them together.
Sorry. No privacy horny furballs..

Friday, August 18, 2006

r-a-b-b-i-t-o-s !!~

Thoughts of the day: As time moves deliberately by us, our lives change, and the lives of our loved ones change as well. Sometimes we grow in the same directions, and sometimes we grow apart...


My new babies
5 of them cute mu-mu-mu-shi-jushy-pies..
Born - Aug 22, 2006

Loved them to the max. Why?
1. Cute
2. White
3. Silly creatures
4. Cheer my day by just looking at them play
5. Make my worries drained away with their cute stupidity.
6. My companions during all the late nights till early morning everyday before finals.

**picture a thousand words** let your mind wander free~

was thinking today.. bout this.. (below)

we think we are supreme
we are nothing
walking with the knowing
that a great day will arise
when we fall down on our knees
and whisper,

Thursday, August 17, 2006

movies lately

Come. Let's be a movie critic today. I've watched a couple of movies lately and they were all ain't that bad.


Movie - The Lakehouse
With - ManYee & Paul

Heard that the reviews on this film were BAD, really bad. Critics hate it, as they find the movie illogical. It was adapted from the Korean Movie - Il Mare.

But honestly speaking, the movie to me is so so seducing. Just put the logical aside first, pay your full attention to the story of the movie.. the sparks, the chemistry, the love... lastly the impossible!!~

Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves... ooo~~ HOT!!! Keanu Reeves is the man, THE MAN that got me all gaga over the movie 'Constantine'. Hot, Macho.. ugghhh undescribable manliness.. ahhaha.. True that the fact this movie is SO illogical but it ain't piece of junk. For instance, do you think Star Wars is logical? Harry Potter? LOTR?? Dream asses.

They correspond through the lake house’s mailbox they confirm that they are, incredibly, impossibly, living two years apart, and each at a time in their lives when they are struggling with past disappointments and trying to make a new start. Sharing this unusual bond, they reveal more of themselves to one another with each passing week--their secrets, their doubts and dreams, until they find themselves falling in love. Determined to bridge the distance between them at last and unravel the mystery behind their extraordinary connection, they tempt fate by arranging to meet. But, by trying to join their two separate worlds, they could risk losing each other forever.

I really enjoyed this movie. A lot. Every second of it. Call me ninny, I still stick to this movie. In a split second, they did mention about Frank Lloyd Wright & Mies, hahah I felt like I'm back to Theories lecture. Sighh.. The whole romance and fantasy thing in this film. So much of emotions and magic. It is not easy to shoot a film like this. How can all this be so beautiful?? Not even reality.

Overall Michella'ratos - 9.5/10 (My fave after 'The Walk to Remember')


Movie - Dragon Tiger Gate
With - Raymond

Based on some comic books. Names like Dragon Wong, Tiger Wong & Turbo Shek doesn't turn me on. At all. Watched this movie was a last-minute decision & was the only movie at our lousy timing.

Their hairstyles.. UGH!!~ Especially Donnie Yen's. Teruk sial ONLY THE HAIR. Serious. He's soo HAWT!!! Just hate that fringe he was having. Yucks. He's one HOT man.. why portray him this way. I drools for Donnie. His MAN level soared way up high!

His acting was very good as usual. The fighting scenes were kinda a bit fake but quite interesting. But frankly, I think they act cool TOO much, and why does Shawn have to put that fugly wig.. Errr.. then again.. this movie is all about jackets to me.

Supposedly this movie was during the old ancient era. Who knows.. suddenly there were new nokia phone blasting musics and a whole modern city skyline? I was like asking Raymond, "See our Petronas Tower?" It was a total retarded mix-up.

A few crappy scripts were really making me think twice.
1. The junior Nick Tse was threatened by a group of kids, saying, "Why you cry? Want us to wack you till you laugh???" - Errr... WTF???

2. The sexy bitch said to Donnie Yen, "I'm here to kill you, but can you tattoo my back for me??" - Errr... WTF again??!?

And nice for that Donnie's pet sis to get a guys' number. Nick looks kinda stupid. Didn't know Donnie was the action director of the movie... Cool cool. Hehe.. Other than that, I hated the title.. Dragon Tiger Gate.. !! WALAUuuuu!!~~

Nevertheless the movie of half action & comedy, they actually had a punching bag constructed, measuring about 8 feet high, 5 feet wide and weighing about 400 pounds was certified as the world's largest by Guinness World Records. Wooo~

Overall Michella'ratos - 5/10 (I'm being nice)


Movie - Click
With - LayFong
This movie is hilarous. Though the part where he almost died did almost lead a tear to trickle down. Hehe. Sighhh.. Can I have the remote for a week without it programming by itself?? Morty gives Michael a one-of-a-kind universal remote control which Michael believes to be an ordinary remote. To his amazement he realizes that the universal remote is literally universal, in that it controls the universe. It allows him to fast-forward, rewind, and even pause his own life and quite possibly have the life he's been neglecting.

A few talks that really made us burst out laughing.
1. Bed, Bath, and Beyond Guy: "Actually, I don't work here. I'm waiting for my friends.
Michael: "You're kidding me?"
Bed, Bath, and Beyond Guy: "Actually, yes. I don't have any friends. Will you be my friend?"

2. Alice the Secretary: (To Michael) "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but, um, this is kind of important."
Michael: "Okay..."
(She hands him a post-it note saying "Can I go to the bathroom?")
Michael: Go to the bathroom!!!"

3. Radio Announcer: Britney Spears is scheduled to have her 23rd child and Kevin Federline is speculating getting a job.

4. The whole conversation that Michael had with Janine (Jennifer Coolidge) on her sex life. Hahaha.. And her boobies are.. are really really HUGE!!~

I really want to know how they get all the dogs to 'do' the stuffed duck. That's great man. Hahahaha.. Poking. Hehehehe. And I really dislike David Hasselhoff. He makes me feel like he's so pathetically PERVERT. Certain interiors of the movie were nice. The futuristic especially.

Seriously, if you asked me.. if it wasn't for Adam Sandler to be Michael, the lead, I don't think the show will be as successfully-funny as now. I like the scene where he flap his tummy flats.. He said it was like a tongue. Hahahaha LOL.

The overall moral is that family should come first, then work. And Kate Beckinsale is really GORGEOUS.

Overall Michella'ratos - 8/10


But still, nothing beats my fave love movie of all time - A Walk to Remember

happy day part 1

Little thoughts : Though my personal feelings are soon so much fading away and tonight is the night that I finally let it all out, let it all go. Finally.



SighhH!!~~ I'm happy happy happy the very whole day today!!~
The smell of freedom!~~~ Hehehhehhee Seriously... I long for today's feeling for such a long long long long time~~~!!~~ Thanks to u guys bearing with my bitching fits, weeks before my finals!!~~ MUAKS!~

Bout my minor assignment (environment concept design calendar), I went to printing today for submission, and that printing guy, Freddy wanted a copy of my calendar for himself and also to pin up at his shop.. Hehehe.. not bad for a compliment.
posted in low resolution. **if you want a new-year calendar.. PM me.** Hehe

Anyway tonight.. from Cheras rushed to Damansara off-working hours lagi... but it was a bloody worth it rush.. hahaha.. Pheww~~ a bloody blast nite-to-remember!!~

Daryle's 23th birthday at TGI Fridays, Curve. Can see that she was very happy tonight as she just kept babbling none stop.. and I mean REALLY NONE STOP. Though the existence of the super-wanted person wasn't there, but we really did have a great fun. Laughed our asses out, taking silly posing pictures, camera-whoring, hugs & kisses, making new buddies... Gosh. the relaxation and fun.. it was no-words-can-describe-feelingss!!~~

Chloe, Farah & me bought a cake for her.. Super creamy coffee mocha cake. The plan was to get her nose caked in it & also to eat lar. After the Fridays' crew made her stand on the chair with her short short short skirt, her face was RED. Tomatoes RED.. not blood red la. Hehe

Saucy speech with all her 'thank yous'

from left : daryle (the bday girl), shirley, eddie, goh, dorian, farah, yours truly, chloe

We stuffed 3 small candles way deep into her cake. And her first candle, Chloe fished her head right into the cake. BUSTED!! hahaa.. The second candle.. I held up the cake.. as she came nearer, I pushed the cake into her face, the cake actually topped over the table.. aahhaha!! BustED second timee!! HAhahaha.. Daryle came to the extend of throwing the bloody cream on us. Though sounds childish but she was Super High man!!~~ Enjoyed to the max. Haven't been that crazy for a long long long time. Muaks girlies..

hey.. I'm super sleepy dy. Continue next time le.. more pics to come.. hehehehhe chao ya!~ Still it felt like tonight is a Friday. YAwwnnnzzzz.................................

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

kenangan yang terindah

I'm kinda crazy of Indon songs lately.. Washed away the complications thinking in me just by listening to the husky sexy voice of theirs.

The latest super-make-me-fly-up-high Indon song for me is by...
Samsons - Kenangan Yang Terindah.

Seriously.. it is nice.. Curb hummed a few bars just now when we went yum cha at Cheras after seeing Redzwan. Sighh.. the song is like just playing itself next to my ear.. Hahaha.. nuts, huh?

The lyrics.. I'll surely dedicated this song & 'Selimut Hati' (Farah's future wedding aisle song) to my next "loved" one.. sighhh.. float in it peoplee!!~


Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang t'lah hilang
Darimu yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun aku mampu
Untuk mengenangmu

Darimu kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku kaulah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau
Kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku

Namun takkan mudah bagiku

Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang t'lah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah


Daryle... Happy tomorrow's birthday!! Can't wait for our night outing at Curve's Fridays tomorrow.. ahahaha.. Be sure to enjoy though the existence of 'him' is obvious. Muaks^^

** I'm sorry that you eventually clumsily foolishly stepped into my life...

Monday, August 14, 2006

the new me

Little thoughts: What is the meaning of the word 'meaning'?? You lied. Since you don't care, why should I give a damn, right?

I realised today.. or can I say way before today..
I'm one stubborn bitch..
Wanna know why?...

- Things I know I won't get.. I die die want it.
- Things I don't need.. I die die think I need it..
- Things I really want.. I die die go think otherwise
- Things I know I won't want it for long, I also die die go want it back.. no matter what..
- Things I really don't like but need.. I still don't give a damn..
- Things I like but don't need.. I still go bother myself with it..
- Things I really really want to have but know it won't last for long.. I still go kill an ass to get it.. STILL KILLING to get it..
- Things that want me.. I don't want entirely...
- Things that don't want me, I throw myself straight into it.
- Things that I know there's no future with me, I still want to give it a try..
- Things that really need me, I just give it away...
- Things that I wanted for so long, finally is mine.. I blindly let it go.. for fucks..
- Things that I did not get.. I sulked for a fucking long time to get over it.
- Things that I get.. usually I hate it..
- Things that I don't get.. I always think I'll like it..
- Things that I going to get.. somehow I'll stop halfway..

After listing all these "THINGS".. sitting here blogging at 3.54am..
I realised another shit.. which ain't a new shit..

I'm a fucking bimbo ass!!~~~

Oh ya.. left out another 'thing'...

- Things that let go of me.. I WILL NEVER WANT IT BACK!!!!!~
even if it's crawling backkkkk......~~~~~~~

this is me.. the different interpreted version of me..

Friday, August 11, 2006

first degree finals

YES!!! Design finals is so OVER!!~
FINALLY!!!! sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh of relief mannnn...
Though still got Tech & Minor submissions next week but a huge huge huge burden is SO off my shoulders... more space to breathe.. and becoming my old sane self againn.. hehhhee..

10 Aug,Thursday - Yesterday was horrible..

Have to pin up my boards (plans & sections) before 5.30pm. I was still bloody rushing my work.. came up with my 3 floors' plans & 2 interior sections in like a day half.. gosh man.. hella lots of workkk.. Was supposed to leave home latest by 2, to get my ass to Triform, Subang to print my boards out then head to uni, at least will be there by 5.00pm.

Damn.. a lot of things to beautify it as you know, my pickiness & perfectionist attitude is really killing me. Finally left home at 3.30pm. I was so so worried and getting edgier every second passed by. Reached Triform, thank god no other customers except me.. but that ass, seriously, worked so slow. It was only 5 A2, and it was like taking forever. One A2 coloured cost 20 bucks normally, but luckily I talked to lady that I had very little colours only, so she charged me 15bucks only. He printed it all out finally after 45 minutes when you can actually get it all done within 20 minutes. He cut it into size, and bodoh him, he cut my last piece so much smaller than the rest, so he ought to print another one for me again, and that takes another 15minutes. Another thing that really ticked my head off was that, the other customers, they just butt their stuff before I got mine done. Where can? Cut queue man!!~ Worst still, that ass let them. Browsing through their files, explanations, orders, price bargains – while mine was waiting for him to finish up. What the hell??

Humans.. Selfishness & foolishness kills.

Reached studio by 5.35pm. If I am in limkokwing now, Emilda would definitely don't allow me to pin up, but luckily Redzwan was nice.. super nice indeed.


11 Aug, Friday - Today Finals!!~
Another shit case this morning. Working on my 3Ds & concept boards last night till early this morning. I screwed ArchiCad up, then Sketch-up crashed suddenly, fortunately I saved a few perspectives in jpeg file dy.. If not, you'll be attending my funeral today.

Finally get to sleep at 6am, but have to wake up by 6.30am to go printing at Farah's friend's printing office. Supposedly to do a small sectional model, but I didn't, cos so lack of time. Kelvin woke me up at 6.30am, once we hanged up.. I straight konked off, just like that. Didn’t realize when I sleep also. Shit. Farah called me. IT WAS 8am!!! And we have to be in presentation studio by 8.30am, latest 9.30am. SHIT!! It was real fuck-case. Worried my ass off. I almost cried. I just couldn't take that shit that time. After sleepless nights, stressed shits, conflicts, emotions.. I woke up late & will be late for my finals design presentations!! Mixed emotions of tired, worried, excited, nervous, hungry, period… I almost lose it! Lagi the printing shop is at kelana jaya. Rushed from Klang, jam, NKVE to Damansara, jam, to Kelana Jaya, NPE to Cheras. Heart throbbing, soon making an appearance on my lap. Teruk sialllll~~~~

Reached college at 10.30am. Presentation started. Lucky me again, Redzwan let Chloe present first, so I can be the last, giving me more time to pin-up, cool down and prepare. Guess who were my four panels?? My favourite David Koo & Azimin. Unexpected to see Mr. YS Ng. All ex limkokwing lecturers who taught me before except Azimin, who always critted on my finals since like diploma era. Haha.. And another Malay lady whom I forgotten her name dy. Four panels vs Me. All hard work was worth it after the review was over. Though I do get some negative comments on my 3rd floor layout, but everything was good despite that. At least, my concept was there. Hehehheeh.. Glad glad gladddd!!~~~~

First time.. a clean cut layout. Not my style but still.. rushed-work.
6 of my presentation boards. Other 2 lazy upload cos hav to change filesize.
*Click to enlarge*

Phew~ seriously.. I still can’t believe that finals are so over now. 8 A2 boards in 3 days - concepts, intentions, brief, design development sketches, site analysis, plans, sections, perspectives, details, & presentation boards. 2 & half weeks work, done in 3 days. Lagi it is my first time using a new sketch-up software in one night. Don't get me wrong ok.. I'm not bragging. But gggosh!~

Though it was so last minute work, rushing like hell & all. I am so so so relievedddd!!~~

Another fuck thing that happened was..... my fucking cheap 8310 phone was stolen right from my fucking bag. Not sure when, not sure how, not sure who. Confirm it was in my bag, should be in the lift, crammed with black guys.. definitely afternoon. SHIT!!!~ Excuse to get new phone?? Yea rite.. I'm so fucking BROKE!!!!~~~~
Happy stress over.. Sad no money..
Life? Shits never stop...

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

nothing is fair..

You fucked my life up.

I was once, never
a particularly good liar. My mind seizes up, my face turns red. But now.. I can tell you, I'm fine.. and yet you not knowing what's happening deep in me. Right? So does that made me a good liar.. or you just appear to be a pretentious-bad-ass actor?

Ugh!! Life. Lies. I hate you all. To the max. Just when things seemed as bad as they could possibly get, you came in to make it worse, adding your existence to the already-messed-up mess. All I hear these days is people bitching about their own life.. like theirs are the worst, not knowing there are even more bloody matters outta there happening on other people... Don't split your mentality without thinking twice, your voice has got no reason..there will always be a time to face your own shits. Get a grip you fuckers. Same goes to myself.. Always assuming my life is the worst of all, though facing all these shits for no fucking business. Regretted things I've done but still I went and did it anyway. Life's unfair. So fucking unfair. How come you're born a rich fuck and I'm not? Why you're born with a G cup & I'm stuck with a flat chess-board chest? How can you like her and not me? How can you get this for 5 bucks and I get the same for 500 bucks? How can you come and go just like that while I'm stucked here all the time?? That is the time where you'll screamed your ass off…
QUESTION : Why on earth this fucking things will only happen to me?
Answer: Shit happens.. You're just unlucky.

Well.. after all the shits I've been through in these past 3 months, one unparticular no-money-can-buy lesson walked its way. Its just part & parcel of life. Obstacles. History is what made me today. DULL!! Should one go through shits to grow up? I did. Am I growing up? A little.. waiting for more shits to enter my shitted life. Why do I grumble bout how unsatisfy I feel my life is? I hate it everytime I cannot get what I want, I hate the way you come and leave faster than the lightning strikes, hated the way I want it to be but I know it'll never happen.. at least I know it won't happen. I hate to be complicated. Hate to think complicated. Why can't I just be a simple girl-next-door? Because I've got no fucking neighbour. Damn. Lame. I realised I'm a different me compared to the last 3 months, but yet I'm so not ready to accept the truth of it. The truth. And why I hate the truth??? Because it fucking hit me right on THE spot.. and it bloody hurt.. HURT!!!~

I once think.. if I hang onto my hopes, dont let it slip away.. one day.. the hand will hold me, keep me warm and will help me live my day. Am I na├»ve or what? With you showing no interest.. ignoring my pain, you don't have to act like you still care. Just leave me alone and stay apathetic. Don't let my desire grow. I don't want to fight an endless lie. So not willing to continue your game because I cannot accept the sudden unexpected, underwhelming news from you. Whenever I found a way to reach myself again, but all I saw was you driving me away.. there's something deep in me waiting to escape, you think you know me but actually you know nothing. Please don’t give me excuses, I'm lying for your good sake.
Just walk out my life.

Life is full of anger, maybe I'm dead again now, or maybe there's life in me,so much stronger than the world gives it to me.Here's the deal, I don't feel the darkness, don't feel anything, pressure's lost and pressure's good in me, don't move and don't hide secrets, play hard, don't play alone, move the soul without MY own control.

Good way to condemn my own life? Well, guess again!!~
My life is already condemned!!! So who gives a fuck?

Nothing is fair. I repeat. Nothing is fucking fair in this world.

I'm forcing myself to look at things in the right light.
Welcome to the Bright Side, girl.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

one last cry~~

The only one & last thing I'll do for you..

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on its selves
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you

I need some love to rain on me

Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry


Saturday, August 05, 2006

do u really treat me as a REAL friend?

Little thoughts : I just don't like the way you're treating me. I don't like the way you throw all temper tantrums at me, either intentionally or unintentionally when the fact is I'm not the reason you're pissed. Then when your mind is clear, you come up to me & tell me you're sorry.. Why?? I'm not a puppet that you can throw me upside down then sew me up like nobody's business. I have feelings. I don't like to be blamed for nothing. I'm not born to attend your attitude problem. I just need to live my life for MYSELF.


Just got back from MSID (Malaysia Society of Interior Design). Great day with a bunch of don't-know-who-the-hell-are-they interior design students from Uitm, LUCT, SAITO, MIA & the list went on..

Lotsa of prizes we (UCSI) had won.. Everyone was screaming their lungs out.. especially Diana.. Hahaha..
The lighting competition - First
The Installation - None
The Corel Speaking - Third
The Placard - None
The Design Exhibition Booth - Second
The Design Medley Competition - Second & Third
The Young Designer Idol - Did not participate

7 programmes, won 4. Not bad what.. And this is our first year participation & the least amount of students compared to the rest. I might can get some pictures from Baizura or the juniors.. then if I'm kind enough, I might upload some.. hehhee


Today & everyday before today for almost a week, the last thing that I thought will bring tremendous heartaches & problems to me is you, my friend.

Who are friends? Why we need friends? What are friends exactly??

Friends, they know who you are and where you are from, they hold judgements and know who your other friends are.
There are 2 types of friends, the Honest Friend and the Back Stabber Friend.

The Honest Friend wants to be a counsel and sometimes your lover, they say all the right things and do all the right things its just they don't quite make it to that level or personal chat or interesting thesis that makes you say "yeah man".

The Back Stabber Friend is the friend that does and says all the right things but they hold that reserve that you never quit trust, or maybe you do trust them but they don't quite get it and normally end up telling all your secrets.

In knowing that I grade my friends I ask myself why do I do it. What is the point in knowing what person means what to you in your life? Aren't we all just friends at the end of the day? I guess not, otherwise I wouldn't hold some people in such esteem and others in interested repose.

What is my definition of friend, my definition is the person that needs me just as I need them, we use no one for I am one persons Backstabber as they are my counsel, unfair as that sometimes maybe, and I guess that's just the way it is.

To all my friends I really would like to say: No matter what you are to me, you teach me and I learn the bigger lesson is what builds up. Each day I f*cked up and you forgive me, or vice versa, thank you... from the bottom of my heart to the very top.


I live my life to fulfil my own dreams, my goals & myself.
I don't live my life to entertain you.

Thursday, August 03, 2006


I'M SO STRESSED TO ALL THESE FUCKING MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Movies & moviess!!~

Little thoughts : I'm back with my own right mind.. Though sometimes it might run sideways, but I'll pull it back before it jumps off the clift. Well, glad to be back!!~


Was listening to this song Richard Marx - Ready to Fly, quite frequently these days other than my (at the moment) fave song Luther Vandross - Buy me a rose.. Kinda suit my moods & thinking these days. The lyrics to me is quite meaningful though..

I've been trying to open the door
To the secret of my destiny
And every new road I think is the one
Seems to lead right back to me

I've looked for a way to be wiser
A way to be strong
Now I see the answer was hiding
In me all along

And I'm ready to fly
Over the sun
Like a rocket to heaven
And I'm ready to soar
Right through the sky
Never dreamed I'd find something to lift me so high
I've always had wings
But I wasn't ready to fly

Restless, hopeless, and misunderstood
Like so many others I know
So busy tryin' to keep holdin' on
When I should've been letting go

I was given the gift to find it
The spirit inside me
But I never really imagined
All I could be

The answer to all of my wonder
Was right in my hands
Now it's time for me to discover
All that I am

I've always had wings
Now I'm finally ready to fly


Today. Management exam. Sigh. Lucky I did not bad. Answered all the subjective questions with super long LONG answers. Hopefully few points from there is correct. Hehe.

Theories class was kinda cool today. Watched another movie (in German with English subbies) compared to the minimalist funny movie. Today was Fritz Lang's Metropolis (1927), it is black & white & lasted around like 2 hours. It is the future, and humans are divided into two groups: the thinkers, who make plans (but don't know how anything works) and the workers (worked under city). Seriously, it's not that bad, though their make-up was horrible, funny costumes.. shiny stickers on nipples, but if SuKoh didn't show us this movie, we might not know movie like this existed. Haha.. Actually I did kinda laugh my ass out a bit during this movie.. 'cos the guys they were.. kinda SISSY!!~~ LOL~~

More craps about the movie in this link.. MetroPolis


Phoenix asked me a question today. I answered, "It is now all in the past"...
She replied... "If it is yours, it'll be back..."
Somehow.. I was touched..


Gonna watch the "Lake House" with ManYee & Paul later in 15hours. Look forward to it very much 'cos I really wanna watch the movie since I saw the trailer. Romantic but a lil' sad love story. And.. KEANU REEVES is HOT!!~ That's the reason I've agreed to watch Constantine last time.. ahhaha~

1.43 am.
Now back to finish my fuckin' report that I really hope I can get it all done tonight!!~