A mule on lease

After reminding myself endlessly to sleep early if I can, I still ended up in this current situation where I am so bloody tired inside but yet keeping my eyes wide open, knowing that I will wake up regretting tomorrow. This is so getting old. I just finished watching Running Man EP 213 and now even feeling more awake than usual. I know or knew I shouldn't be enjoying the fun and hilarious scenes of this episode but I couldn't help it. I am feeling oh-so-lazy. Maybe simply because I have not gotten any good long no-stress sleep since I'm back. Speaking of that, I have not stop feeling stress about work right after my 12 hours sleep on my first night home. I miss the daily routine I have in London. Felt healthy and right. Now? Back to sleepless nights, bad food timing and crazy hazy weathers. Sigh.

few of my favourite things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..

These are the few of my favourite things.

They make me happy by just looking at these images.

The colors, the composition... Hmmm..

If only there are all right in front of me now.

Sigh.

My new whatsapp's wallpaper :)

Balloons. Heliums.

Fly me away kite.

Daisy and daisy.

xoxo

from michelle to michelle.

lately

Hate to admit but yes, I do feel that sometimes.
But there's nothing I can do about it, hence just let the feeling go. :)

coulda, shoulda, woulda..

One of my fave quotes in Sex and the City.

my humble abode

I've always wanted a place of my own. 

A place I can dwell inside, do whatever I want and leave the world out.

And I'm working on it. Saving money. Less shopping/travelling.

Work work work.. money money money. =P

As an interior designer, I can NEVER decide what I like for myself.
I tried doing my own moodboard in my spare time.. but never happened. Braindead.
One thing that is "still me" would be, dark cozy colors with a hint of bold "happy" color.
Posted some pix here to sorta combine my fav elements..

I once like this.. Hmmm.. Still fancy the different pieces of furniture in the mix of
bold and pastel colors but don't quite fancy the panther's head as the backdrop.
Maybe Audrey Hepburn in monochrome with a hint of red lips or just pastel rainbow strips.. 

Nice. I wonder if I will get bored with black. Hmm.. Apparently NOT. =P

The masculine straight lines are given a feminine kick with accents of
Monroe's lipstick red. Like!! A very personal touch.

Entire feel was right for a cozy place to come home to. Except maybe the
dining chairs.. too bony. And too many things happening at the ceiling.
A dark walnut timber floor would be a bonus effect. Anyway love it.

This is very Zen-ish. I only like the shadow casting on the floor.
A daily warm greeting from the morning sun. 

For young couples or a lone ranger, this concept is very well composed.
I would prefer to tame the look down by replacing that hot pink table with a  rugged
timber coffee table instead to bring out the mustard colors from the backdrop.

A perfect perfect PERFECT place for me to read my books.
Drowned in my jazzy songs with a hot cuppa, looking out on a rainy day.
Oh I want this NOW!!

Never thought a dark turquoise would add so much character
into the kitchen. Not a bad idea. =P

Looks a little cluttered but tastefully done. Maybe not so gungho photos.
Some classic ones, family photos. That will be nice.
Literally made my home very HOMEy, if that makes sense.

I need not a huge space but just a decent space to get cozy with my man and kids in future.
As for my single status now, a small studio apartment will keep me VERY satisfied.

Wonder how will my future abode be if I mixed all my favorite colors, textures and elements all in one place.

And back to work!! Gotta work hard to get my own place. =)

xoxo

sensed an existence

你存在，我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里.

oh btw. me likey this.

(if only i can insert an emoticon with heartshaped eyes. i'll probably put 5. haha)

Goodnight.

caught up in the moment

Few weeks ago I was asked to sleep earlier day by day and me to not think so much but..
Lady Antebellum's Just A Kiss playing in the background now isn't helping much.
Feel like laughing. -_-"










Btw, I'm going fishing tmr!!! yay!!
Something different to look forward to.
I'm excited!! 40mins from KL is better than 40mins in KL!!


xoxo

burning rays

The weather is so hot today. Grr
I am feeling so lazy. Slept through most of the days, neglecting my office works.
Damn. Tomorrow I'll quarantine myself in some cool cafe and put on my thinking cap.
Have to get my work started.

Yup.. this was/is my expression for a couple of days d due to the stupid weather...

xx.

ms brightside

I am a happy girl today.
I couldn't sleep last night due to you-know-the-reason-why but I woke up like 6:30am justnow.
Went to the morning market with mom after dropping my siblings to school.

Looking at the crowd makes me wonder if my sleeping hours are too long.
But I normally slept bout 2-3am, woke up no later than 10am. Hmmm..
and these people are already working their ass off selling everything your grocery list could fit.
I should sleep less and start working more huh? Good motivation. =)

My fav kuih ever. Made me miss my grams terribly.

where she chops and chops her chickedees.

Breakfast at 8:30am. A very rare "event". =P

There's potluck tomorrow at Amber's place.
Lunch at Kwangli's next Tuesday.
Dinner at BSC next Wednesday.
Steamboat and movie marathon at Jason's next Saturday.
Following Saturday to Velvet.
Following following weekend to Bangkok.
Gonna love September!!!
I'm grinning from ear to ear.
At the end of the day, age is really just a number.

Happy Birthday to me in the next-6-days. =) =) =)

filler at 2:45pm

I'm watching my Sex and The City series, Season 2 AGAIN while trying to pen some thoughts here.

Carrie Bradshaw just "pen her thoughts".. 
What if Prince charming had never showed up? Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever? Or would she have eventually woken up, spit out the apple, gotten a job, a healthcare package and a baby from her local neighbourhood sperm bank? 
I couldn’t help but wonder. Inside every confident, driven, single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved? Do women just wanna be rescued?

You probably think i'm thinking or turning a little too much "gaga" over stuff like this.. but guess who is feeding me with all thoughts... like reminder set to snooze every 2 seconds. Gosh I am exaggerating but that's so how I felt.





* *


sigh don't you get tired of the constant screeching, hot blood gushed up your brain, hoarse voice after hours of continuous rock & roll? c-h-i-l-l !!

yeah that's my facebook status today and I'm referring to you-know-who. Nah it's not Voldemort.

killing me softly

Mind empty. Hands froze. Brain dead.
I need my adrenaline rush back. Like ASAP.
Tsk. Work it work it work it..

I dress in balsamic today.

Haven't been working this weekend.

Was overcoming my "emo-breakdown" and yeah being plain lazy.

I filtered and clean my laptop's desktop screen, deleted over 20G of rubbish.

Rearranged my project list, site photos, drawing numbers etc etc.

And well at the same time, still watching Glee. Started on Season 2 already.

Cheerful watching this TV Series, seriously made me laugh with glee and also chills ran up and down my spine watching them sing really love ballads and old classics. 

Wow, love 'em.

Did almost everything with my laptop today and well, yesterday too but just no work. 

Oh wait, I did one 3D view last night at wee hours but took me like just 2 hours to complete that simple task and emailed to my client by this morning.

I'm so so so plain lazy when it comes to do work related WORK.

Visited my babysitter's brother who was diagnosed with Miller Fischer Syndrome. 

Sigh breaks my heart. Seeing elderly (but not so elderly yet, perhaps in 50s) getting all sorts of illness and stuff.. just made me appreciate life a little bit more these days. Have tons of funny thoughts running through my mind as I was doing my daily routine, talking to the people I talk everyday, caring bout the people I care all my life, trying to accept new people into my life without much selfish hesitation. I just want to be happy and free. 

Anyway, though I kept saying that i'm very lazy today, but I made dinner for my sister and me. Parents and lil brother attending my far-far-far cousin's wedding at Equatorial KL.

Sister will be attending her first SPM exam tomorrow. *fingers crossed* Do well, girl. 

Dinner I made tonight. Salad with cheese, garlic ham and balsamic sauce as sides..

and Pasta in Creamy Mushroom and Onion as main. 

One plate for both of us girls tonight and damn were we full. *grins*

We finished the entire tupperware of salad. Onion was kinda overpowering tho.

Cooking is fun when food tasted good or well, edible and no complaints.

Till then. 

xoxo

one royal yellow weekend

Yesterday was in fact, the most yellow day ever seen.

All the yellow profile images in facebook, all the yellow shirts + headbands + banners in KL rally all over Youtube, local TV news, Al-Jazeera etc etc etc.

Bersih 2.0 Rally. *click*

Think with a clear mind, with all those unnecessary strict roadblocks and checkings, approx. 50,000 managed and fight their way to the federal capital and successfully demonstrated the walk of democracy. What if there's no roadblocks, silly restrictions and those who were arrested, imagine how many rakyat would be attending the rally? Easily double the crowd yesterday.

One second, with the royal intervention.. the other second the rally was claimed to be illegal. What the? Irrelevant.

Reading articles and news all over the internet (definitely not local tv news) I felt proud and in awe with our Malaysians here and abroad with their determination and bravery to step up and tell them what's right and clean. This is Malaysia with great unity I've never seen before. All races and religions walking down the rally supporting Bersih's call for free and clean elections. Not only here but in Melbourne, HK, Singapore, Bangkok, London too. Wow.

Looking at these rally pictures, feel kinda unbelievable because they seemed so something that won't happen to our country, probably more to abroad countries where we always watch on night news. But with whatever that happened yesterday, I felt really great watching all the determination of theirs marching into the federal capital, some with kids, crutches, elderly people; in spite of their fear to face the tear gas, chemical water spray and merciless whackings from the police. Wow again.

Quoted from Lim Kit Siang's blog, “709” will go down in Malaysian history as the day of empowerment of the real 1Malaysia – where all races and religions came together to demand a “Clean Malaysia”, not just for clean elections but also in the political system and all aspects of national governance.
You couldn't agree more.

The chaos descended but the spirit has not. We shall just wait and observe.

More pix *here*

More news *here* and *here*

Are they shivering down their pants? Well, they're clearly going into denial now. There's more drama to see from their side from now on. I wonder how our future would turn up to. Hmmm...

Once in the blue moon..

I had a meeting with a client yesterday about 6pm at BSC. I was yes, late due to the bad Friday traffic. Really hate driving sometimes but oh well those complaints were getting pretty old.

Anyway the meeting went great fortunately so that eased my mind off the horrible traffic that I faced before the meeting and soon to meet after the meeting simply because I have to stuck my ass out in the jam from BSC to Pavilion KL. I agreed to meet Louise up for dinner at her workplace err Pavilion obviously and Vernard, an almost MIA workaholic, whom I saw last year? Despite the obvious jam, I still put my ass out there to have a good Friday night out because last week's Friday night was very depressing and... lonely.

Dinner was a bit of catching-up with Vernard kinda warming-up session. I meet Louise almost weekly, phone SMS almost every other day, so I guess or should be CERTAIN that we know each other way too much to need any ice-breaking q&a session. Haha. Well, dinner was fun at Michelangelo's, visuals in the menu were pretty deceiving but food was okay, then leading to drinking at La Bodega till 2am?

It's been months since I last went out this late to chill. The feeling was great. Something like Cinderella tasted her freedom for a change from her tight work schedules and mom's midnight curfew. Sometimes I just wish I can do whatever I want whenever I want and with whomever I want without having to answer to somebody or think too much of the consequences. Life's short. We need the 'fullest' feeling sometimes to keep us sane. Last night from our late 21:00 dinner till wee early hours were purely entertainment only. I'm dead serious cos all we did was talked and laughed and talked and laughed and surprisingly I forgotten what defines WORK. I'm really glad. Imagine life's like this everyday.

Due to tight sched, mom was pretty used to me having to be home by midnight almost everyday, in fact sometimes I'm home for few days straight rushin my butt off meeting some Client's impossible crazy deadlines. Hence all these repetition habits of mine, she started calling up by 22:30 when I'm still out. Sigh. I feel like in high school again tho I'm admitting not that I live my life for close to 27 years already. I have even pass my quarter-life-crisis period. Oh darn.

Oh I wish more days as yesterday would come. Just having a great time with close friends talking, laughing and watching other people having their own version of good time. Oh when shall that be? This coming week perhaps? :)

dissatisfaction that goes nowhere..

Appointments appointments appointments!!

I can't believe I'm booked for work for the rest of this week.

Every single day. Morning session, afternoon session and evening too.

Oh fuck my life.

I need some few hours for myself.

Some FREE hours for me to do nothing but just enjoy the moment.

To relax and have a deep long sleep...

Unlike lately only to always wake up to sudden urgent morning calls bout site issues etc or late SMSes out of nowhere bringing forward the deadlines.. Ugh.

Maybe I should try retail shopping.

A friend tagged me in facebook for the sudden fame of Banane Taipei Eco bags.

Posted a pix below. Nice? I like their Lake Blue or maybe Green Grass.

But no money.

Sigh. After complaints after complaints, life still goes back to square one.

Which is WORK to get CASH.

Sad.

i know i shouldn't but i can't help it...

Yesterday was really bad. Emotionally I mean.

Until last night, somehow things changed and feelings lifted to a slight better which I can easily "metaphorically" phrase it to two lines from William Shakespeare's "Sonnet XLIII"

"All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me."

- -

you can check the paraphrase here, if you wish to..*click*

my trust to you ended up a fraud

To be extremely frank, it's so offending when your love ones don't trust you because you're to be the one voicing negative remarks which are mostly true. You find it hurtful and discouraging because you are like that!! You do not encourage yourself. You just let it by one day after the another, then to your expertise you act like nothing happen. Truth hurts!! You just have to deal with it if you're not trying to improvise from it. Why do I tell you the fugly truth? Because I do not want you to face the evil world with your stupidity. If you can't take it from me, how can you take it from the outside world? At the end of the day, I'm not the one who will be in your shoes to absorb those unnecessary humiliation that you finger-crossed it will never happen BUT if you continuously ignoring the facts that are smacked right in your face now, then eat your own shoe.

The more it reflects in my mind, the more I saw red. Keeping secrets from me simply because you do not want me to know, so that I do not pass you REAL hurtful two cents that somehow will hurt your ass dignity. Please.

Hate it when you give me some lame-ass excuse to re-wind the statement you just said, thinking I'm some dumbass fucking kid that thinks rooster lay eggs. When you do not want anyone to know about your tiny little fucking secret then you should just keep it to yourself. Don't pass an invitation then to be advised by others then you come running to me trying your best to re-phrase your previous invitation and act all crazily innocent.

I do not need such drama especially when I'm so close to you.

I think of dear to you but you treat me lower than the dust under your doormat.

What the fuck am I to you?

Now that things are so obviously clear, don't expect me to tell you anything anymore.

Period.

Stress is simply a fact of nature.

At some times when some people expect too much from you, you asked yourself...

what will you do.. or should i rephrase that to.. what CAN you do or.. what SHOULD you do?

It's really getting very tiring when out-of-nowhere one throws an entire load, size of Russia on your shoulders; stepping a little on it.. causing some mini earthquakes and perhaps some crazy tsunami.. then.. sigh I'm out of words to describe.. Mana itu brakes??

Sometimes I find it amazing that (haha) in some way some "internal factors" can have their ways to determine my body's ability to react to all these hilarious loca external stress-inducing factors. As for now, I too find it impossible to tell you that I'm not "brain-dead" because... I AM BRAIN DEAD now.

Thinking ahead of all the workloads jamming up in front of me, foresee all the unseen-able unpredictable un-nice (if there's such word) of unnecessary problems and depressing consequences. I too hope that I won't be stuck in between as a victim of their "circumstances". All those boring old shouldn't-have-happen-kind-of sequence of actions or bad events expressed in a seriously unfriendly way should be grimly avoided.

Okay. I am a bit negative today.

OKAY. I admit I'm VERY pessimistic today, taking the gloomiest possible view.

But well, whatever my fortune may be, I hope I am still a happy lot in the end of the day.

*fingers crossed*

a streak of laziness..

Eh... somehow I'm speechless tonight, err more like the whole day today..

Not just speechless but action-less, talk-less, brain-less maybe.

Maybe in another "simpler" word, i'm just bloody plain lazy today.

Drowning myself in this particular, 张雨生's song - 我期待

Poor guy... some really bad accident caused his death in his 30s..

Very talented guy.. or so I've heard from the elders... Hmm..

I'm still feeling lazy..

Oh I went pasar malam earlier tonite..

Siblings bought some putu bamboo and kuih pelita.

Very good business for this little dad-son-daughter stall..

Sigh. I'm still feeling lazy.

Even lazy to sleep. Damn.

am i a weirdy?

I wouldn't say mass media is bad..

but sometimes they're very influential in some very negative way.

I still remember back in high school where we always have to write essays with titles like "Benefits of Mass Media", "Pros and Cons".. "How Mass Media influences your future".. "How television cannot be your hobby?" etc etc

Well, waking up this morning... Mom greeted me with a short comment..

She said, "You know.. I heard this from a specialist/professor (or someone equivalent expert) having this interview with the deejays on radio this morning... What he said was quite true."

So she told me..

He said, 'All designers, no matter what kind of designer.. Advertising, graphic, interior, product... etc.. as in ALL kinds of designers or any living creature that does designing full time has a very weird attitude.... WEIRD as in think strangely, act strangely, talk strangely, always want-to-win attitude, stuck-up, very perfectionist... and.. pretty SELFISH.."

Wow.. Someone must have gotten into his 'undies' or some designer-ex-girlfriend must have dumped him pretty bad maybe.. for commenting ALL designers are, in another simplified word.. WEIRDOS?? or worst... ASSHOLES?!

And mom ended her line with.. "You should put this in mind.. Think about it.."

Errr... thanks mom.

Speechless me? Yes. I'm speechless.

Wait.. Are we thaaaaaaat bad? Seriously?