You fucked my life up.
I was once, never a particularly good liar. My mind seizes up, my face turns red. But now.. I can tell you, I'm fine.. and yet you not knowing what's happening deep in me. Right? So does that made me a good liar.. or you just appear to be a pretentious-bad-ass actor?
Ugh!! Life. Lies. I hate you all. To the max. Just when things seemed as bad as they could possibly get, you came in to make it worse, adding your existence to the already-messed-up mess. All I hear these days is people bitching about their own life.. like theirs are the worst, not knowing there are even more bloody matters outta there happening on other people... Don't split your mentality without thinking twice, your voice has got no reason..there will always be a time to face your own shits. Get a grip you fuckers. Same goes to myself.. Always assuming my life is the worst of all, though facing all these shits for no fucking business. Regretted things I've done but still I went and did it anyway. Life's unfair. So fucking unfair. How come you're born a rich fuck and I'm not? Why you're born with a G cup & I'm stuck with a flat chess-board chest? How can you like her and not me? How can you get this for 5 bucks and I get the same for 500 bucks? How can you come and go just like that while I'm stucked here all the time?? That is the time where you'll screamed your ass off…
QUESTION : Why on earth this fucking things will only happen to me?
Answer: Shit happens.. You're just unlucky.
Well.. after all the shits I've been through in these past 3 months, one unparticular no-money-can-buy lesson walked its way. Its just part & parcel of life. Obstacles. History is what made me today. DULL!! Should one go through shits to grow up? I did. Am I growing up? A little.. waiting for more shits to enter my shitted life. Why do I grumble bout how unsatisfy I feel my life is? I hate it everytime I cannot get what I want, I hate the way you come and leave faster than the lightning strikes, hated the way I want it to be but I know it'll never happen.. at least I know it won't happen. I hate to be complicated. Hate to think complicated. Why can't I just be a simple girl-next-door? Because I've got no fucking neighbour. Damn. Lame. I realised I'm a different me compared to the last 3 months, but yet I'm so not ready to accept the truth of it. The truth. And why I hate the truth??? Because it fucking hit me right on THE spot.. and it bloody hurt.. HURT!!!~
I once think.. if I hang onto my hopes, dont let it slip away.. one day.. the hand will hold me, keep me warm and will help me live my day. Am I naïve or what? With you showing no interest.. ignoring my pain, you don't have to act like you still care. Just leave me alone and stay apathetic. Don't let my desire grow. I don't want to fight an endless lie. So not willing to continue your game because I cannot accept the sudden unexpected, underwhelming news from you. Whenever I found a way to reach myself again, but all I saw was you driving me away.. there's something deep in me waiting to escape, you think you know me but actually you know nothing. Please don’t give me excuses, I'm lying for your good sake.
I was once, never a particularly good liar. My mind seizes up, my face turns red. But now.. I can tell you, I'm fine.. and yet you not knowing what's happening deep in me. Right? So does that made me a good liar.. or you just appear to be a pretentious-bad-ass actor?
Ugh!! Life. Lies. I hate you all. To the max. Just when things seemed as bad as they could possibly get, you came in to make it worse, adding your existence to the already-messed-up mess. All I hear these days is people bitching about their own life.. like theirs are the worst, not knowing there are even more bloody matters outta there happening on other people... Don't split your mentality without thinking twice, your voice has got no reason..there will always be a time to face your own shits. Get a grip you fuckers. Same goes to myself.. Always assuming my life is the worst of all, though facing all these shits for no fucking business. Regretted things I've done but still I went and did it anyway. Life's unfair. So fucking unfair. How come you're born a rich fuck and I'm not? Why you're born with a G cup & I'm stuck with a flat chess-board chest? How can you like her and not me? How can you get this for 5 bucks and I get the same for 500 bucks? How can you come and go just like that while I'm stucked here all the time?? That is the time where you'll screamed your ass off…
QUESTION : Why on earth this fucking things will only happen to me?
Answer: Shit happens.. You're just unlucky.
Well.. after all the shits I've been through in these past 3 months, one unparticular no-money-can-buy lesson walked its way. Its just part & parcel of life. Obstacles. History is what made me today. DULL!! Should one go through shits to grow up? I did. Am I growing up? A little.. waiting for more shits to enter my shitted life. Why do I grumble bout how unsatisfy I feel my life is? I hate it everytime I cannot get what I want, I hate the way you come and leave faster than the lightning strikes, hated the way I want it to be but I know it'll never happen.. at least I know it won't happen. I hate to be complicated. Hate to think complicated. Why can't I just be a simple girl-next-door? Because I've got no fucking neighbour. Damn. Lame. I realised I'm a different me compared to the last 3 months, but yet I'm so not ready to accept the truth of it. The truth. And why I hate the truth??? Because it fucking hit me right on THE spot.. and it bloody hurt.. HURT!!!~
I once think.. if I hang onto my hopes, dont let it slip away.. one day.. the hand will hold me, keep me warm and will help me live my day. Am I naïve or what? With you showing no interest.. ignoring my pain, you don't have to act like you still care. Just leave me alone and stay apathetic. Don't let my desire grow. I don't want to fight an endless lie. So not willing to continue your game because I cannot accept the sudden unexpected, underwhelming news from you. Whenever I found a way to reach myself again, but all I saw was you driving me away.. there's something deep in me waiting to escape, you think you know me but actually you know nothing. Please don’t give me excuses, I'm lying for your good sake.
Please.
Just walk out my life.
Now.
Life is full of anger, maybe I'm dead again now, or maybe there's life in me,so much stronger than the world gives it to me.Here's the deal, I don't feel the darkness, don't feel anything, pressure's lost and pressure's good in me, don't move and don't hide secrets, play hard, don't play alone, move the soul without MY own control.
Good way to condemn my own life? Well, guess again!!~
My life is already condemned!!! So who gives a fuck?
Nothing is fair. I repeat. Nothing is fucking fair in this world.
I'm forcing myself to look at things in the right light.
Welcome to the Bright Side, girl.
Life is full of anger, maybe I'm dead again now, or maybe there's life in me,so much stronger than the world gives it to me.Here's the deal, I don't feel the darkness, don't feel anything, pressure's lost and pressure's good in me, don't move and don't hide secrets, play hard, don't play alone, move the soul without MY own control.
Good way to condemn my own life? Well, guess again!!~
My life is already condemned!!! So who gives a fuck?
Nothing is fair. I repeat. Nothing is fucking fair in this world.
I'm forcing myself to look at things in the right light.
Welcome to the Bright Side, girl.
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