one fine day

I guess these couple of years to come will be pretty hard to please by.

Understanding the meaning of "mid-life-crisis" and eventually experiencing it.. very damn different. Experiencing it doesn't mean i'm feeling the "crisis" personally but well, when you have one member in the family having it, I guess everyone living in the same house have to so-called going through it too..

It was bad sometimes. Real bad. All the insecureness, naiveness, anger.

It was worst than facing a goddamnFup client simply because you care less than under the label "client" they're merely just strangers.

Understanding the fact of "mid-life-crisis" where most people (age 40-60) will do experience some sort of emotional transition during that time of their life though I thought 40 was way too early huh?

Emotional transition. Sounds worst than teenager being rebellious.

to the largest city on Borneo

It was my first trip to Kuching.

Well.. don't expect to see cats everywhere...

except those monumental statues smacked in the middle of all roundabouts.. =P

We were having afternoon tea nearby their the famous old courthouse built by the Brookes, hence the visuals I've uploaded at my previous post.

Somehow in Kuching, everything seemed a bit laidback...

It's like you wouldn't even be as bothered as you are here when your order arrived late on your table. How peaceful.

Publish Post

We were in fact here to attend a ex-college friend's wedding.

I enjoyed Kuching overall. Good friends Bernadine had intro-ed.

Nice place to walk around, look see the museums, riverside...

Weather seemed better too.. Breezy..

A good place to release yourself from the concrete jungle.

Took a break from KL.

impossible meets

Met a guy in some events.

He gave me fluttery feeling in my stomach.

It's been a long time since I met one who can do that.

Liking lomo??

Just testing out my iphone's new lomo app.
Not bad. You think?

First 9 days of twenty-eleven.

It's 2011 already.

Nothing much changed for me.

Still same old same old.

All I can say is I need to get my ass out to the world more often..

other words.. to get out from home.. comparing to well *ahem*

how I've been acting introvert all lately..

I have always love going out.. Watching people..

Window-shopping when there's nothing to be shopped..

and shopping when there are cheap sales..

Out drinking with friends, yakking hours away laughing etc,

catching the latest movies.. good food-hunting..

feasting on chicken wings and cold shrimp salad in Ikea canteen with favourite babes.. or out sitting alone in Starbucks with my laptop working my freelance deadlines off or with a good book and hot Caramel Macchiato on a rainy day.

Oh well.. suddenly all these seem-ed bygones.

Not entirely "lost" but karat dah.

Lately I have been very lazy. I still work but at home.

Sleeping at 2am, waking up latest by 10am was my best achievement.

I feel bored. Restless and some-sort like a tragic housewife..

Daily routines to fetch my siblings from school, make/buy them lunch,

often drives to tuition.. making sure they sleep by their curfew time..

Oh and also as an acting "sand-bag".. ok scratch that.

And only to leave home when necessary like work and appointments.

I've lose interest in planning events/dinners when sometimes someone just don't learn to appreciate... hence the reasons I've lack of my "going-out" activities. Such disease, right?

Maybe one of all the bonus points is that staying home might be an encouraging way to learn how to save money, perhaps? But on the other hand, how to compensate to my emotional distress?

Well, enough said.

Eh, can someone date me out?

The Last of 2010

Wow.. Time flies. Today's the end of 2010. Unbelievable but trying to believe it.. :)

This week has been pretty fruitful. Cleaning up, packing, throwing old things, buying new stuff, preparing to move into a new room which is just across the hall. My contract for my 'single' room was repeatedly asked to be terminated by my 'landlady' in order for her son to have his own room. So hence, I'll have to moved to another slightly bigger room to bunk with my sister.

I needed to make some refurbishment for the so-called new room to me as nobody has been sleeping in it fir sometime. It was like how you going to restore a old room into a better one for living. Ain't wrong right? But to some people it was not necessary, hence all the disagreements n etc. But to me, I must.. For a very simple reason.. I am going to sleep there. Bedrooms are important as most daily routines of your life is organized in there.

New sliding wardrobe cabinet for sure. The existing one was almost 30 years old d. Painted a new shade of dark purple, white for ceiling and window frames. Cleaning and scrubbing on existing dark timber parquet floors.

To have a proper room, disagreements with the LL went uncontrollable. I have lived my life for 26 years but I still have no say in refurbishing my room as what I do best as my profession but my opinions were not agreed upon any reasonable 'logic'. I was very depressed. I have to literally fight my way though it. I set my own budget, did what I need to the very minimum cost n contacting my contractor for my new wardrobe. Darn I was not agreed at all in the first place but I stood very firm as I know what I am doing.

The room is halfway done. Lack of a new mattress, tall-boy and 'storage' partition aka Expedit which obviously I'm getting from a least designers' favourite place called Ikea. All chipboards n mdf means low budget. Well, better than nothing.. At least I got my custom-build wardrobe. Thanks to my carpenter who was willing to fly all the way from capital down to humble Klang for 1 set of 8' wardrobe.

Guess I'll be purchasing the loose pieces next week. I'll be home counting down the minutes to 2011 later. New resolutions for the new year? Well just one. To keep my life organised at all times. Working hard and achieving goals are parts of my all-time mottos. Not a resolution. So that's all wrapped up for 2010!!

See you next year and a Happy New Year!!
Cheers!

Merry Christmas

I'm sitting at Starbucks, Borders Gardens while other thousands of people doing their last minute shopping for Christmas.





We're hitting Alexis later.
But for now I'm bored. Reading a romance when I'm feeling bored on a festive day? Hmmm is it weird?




Merry Christmas to you.

I love my Life

I don't want to be in a match-make scenario.

I don't see 26 years old is an issue.

Nuff said.

prepared or not to?

Manicure & pedicure in the morning.
Hair treatment in the afternoon.
Playing dress-up twice in three days.
I'm tiredddd but happy.
Best wishes to the newly wedded couple!!

trying to adapt

Oh well, the warning sirens went out of control again.

Again over some ridiculous self-imagination statements.

Funny huh? How human mind can eventually "generate" that?

Like.. hmm how should one put it for easier understanding..

Oh.. okay it's like..

It did not happen but you keep thinking and imagine until it's a full story in your head..

and well by the time you're done imagining 'em in your head, it was "AS IF" it already happened...

Wow mighty Wow huh??

Really drive me up the wall at times.

Or should I say EVERYtime.

Cool.

6 months after

Right at this second, a lot of things spinning in my head rapidly. The feeling of a lot of things to do yet so little time.. or more like there’s a lot to do but not knowing which suits myself the most. And possibly a lot of distraction meaning to say sarcasm, unnecessary scoldings, very negative comments, crazy ideas and maybe cash?

I’ve been unemployed since June 2010. Almost half a year, wow.. Thinking it, it was so damn long ago. Freaking half years just flew swiftly off without a blink of eye. Sometimes thinking it again, makes me go. WhatTheFuckk?? Not to say I did not make use of my so-called free time, I am not that kind of person where you can see me doing absolutely nothing for months. I ought to get some projects/activities to fidget with. I do have freelance projects, taking most of my time, hence I do not realize months have passed just like that. I do feel a bit free-er than my 9-6 job period but sometimes it was too hectic as I do not have anyone to count on except myself; unlike last time where I do have a boss to shield as a standing cold wall? Things are very different now but I do enjoy every bit of it, though at times I might be a fussypants and hmm maybe a crazy bitch? At times when the “giving-up” level reached its fucking peak that I just want to drop everything just like that, but then everything would go flushed into the drain. These times are so hard to cope with, ain’t words can easily explain, or easily shared with a friend but.. it’s just the.. well, I am glad I managed to work out some inner courage/confidence to face all these fucking obstacles and yes, fucking people. *pat on back.

Half year. Bloody half year. Crazy 6 months. Never ending roller-coaster ride.

It’s almost year-end. I quit my 9-6 job due to some typical employee reason and also to give myself a break. In fact a break to think what will my next step be. Times have been busy, hence that I still haven’t quite figured out what I want to do yet. 6 months ain’t short but not that long either, BUT enough for a “break”, I guess. I ought to start thinking again.

I am in the middle of contemplating with 2 options.

First, I do have a sudden urge to go back to studying life. Just a speck of sudden urge to do it, but I guess it ain’t a bad thing to continue my Masters which definitely I am NOT taking Interior Architecture but maybe something else. And if I do start on my Masters, I don’t think I will be able to seek for a 9-6 job, right? So I’ll still stuck with freelance projects till I finished my Masters. Why Masters some asked? Well, just a way to always “up” your knowledge another level, ain’t a bad thing, right? Just want to discover more things I would say and hence, that’s why I will definitely not do freelance full time.

On the other hand, I ignore Masters. I shall seek for a 9-6 job after Chinese New Year which was one of the initial plans I had in mind since I quitted. I have still not browse through Jobstreets and etc websites to see what they have in market right now. I mean.. I will when times are near, not now, ‘cos knowing myself I will be very distracted with something so new to experiment with, might even neglect or dis-interest what I have in hand now. I shall move on one by one. Besides, my portfolio ain’t ready yet. That’s another hassle. Hmm.

Some encouraged me to do freelance full time aka start my own firm. I really think it’s way too early to do that. Then came answers that say, you have your “market” now, do you want to just let them go and re-start back in working full-time evil world? I must say, freelance was fun and challenging to me but it’s not enough. I wouldn't say it's "restart". I have more to explore, more to experiment, most importantly more to learn. A lot more to learn. I would not want to be tied up in my small circle till like who knows when I’ll step out of this industry. Though this industry is bloody stressful, meeting crazy people, handling fuckup cases, but my passion still bloody here.. at least NOW they still are. Yeah some said I was stupid thinking this way.

Hmm.. I hate crossroads.