am i a weirdy?

I wouldn't say mass media is bad..

but sometimes they're very influential in some very negative way.

I still remember back in high school where we always have to write essays with titles like "Benefits of Mass Media", "Pros and Cons".. "How Mass Media influences your future".. "How television cannot be your hobby?" etc etc

Well, waking up this morning... Mom greeted me with a short comment..

She said, "You know.. I heard this from a specialist/professor (or someone equivalent expert) having this interview with the deejays on radio this morning... What he said was quite true."

So she told me..

He said, 'All designers, no matter what kind of designer.. Advertising, graphic, interior, product... etc.. as in ALL kinds of designers or any living creature that does designing full time has a very weird attitude.... WEIRD as in think strangely, act strangely, talk strangely, always want-to-win attitude, stuck-up, very perfectionist... and.. pretty SELFISH.."

Wow.. Someone must have gotten into his 'undies' or some designer-ex-girlfriend must have dumped him pretty bad maybe.. for commenting ALL designers are, in another simplified word.. WEIRDOS?? or worst... ASSHOLES?!

And mom ended her line with.. "You should put this in mind.. Think about it.."

Errr... thanks mom.

Speechless me? Yes. I'm speechless.

Wait.. Are we thaaaaaaat bad? Seriously?

two arrived

Despite the horrible day since 9am today, and after 10 days wait.. he finally arrived.

Yes it's a HE cos he's black... Know it sounded irrelevant but.. he's mine.

I'll name him soon.

Perhaps you can think of a name for me? Teeheehee

one Tuesday morning

Had a peaceful sleep.. maybe a few 'self-defined' nice dreams too..
Waking up slowly to the soft snoozing alarm from the past hour..
Yawn.

Picked up my phone to give the man a last reminder bout the appointment later at 11am, where he obviously needed the double reminder because he literally 'forgot' bout it and propose a tomorrow date instead.

Texted Big. And off escaped the fierce roar of the tiger.
Must be morning sickness or the pain start from M.
The roar vanished my earlier dreams away.
Sigh how dreams can be that smack in the face sometimes..
Smacked right back to reality.

A bad bad morning..
One bad Tuesday morning.



Oh fuck. Can one find me a voluntary electrician for the day?
Perhaps a loan for just 2 hours?

a mermaid's tear

Just watched the Pirates of Carribean 4.

Not awesome but okay.. hmm not bad..

I didn't quite have high expectation as many people told me it wasn't as "big" or great compared the earlier parts. Hence the feeling after watching it was fine..

Like it though.

Love all the mermaid scenes..

They're all so mystical and really beautiful and alluring.. especially Syrena.

One of the scene I fancy lots.

That is EVEN without Jack Sparrow.

More about them.. click *here*

Almost all things bout all Pirates of Carribean parts.

Hmm.. i can't quite remember the first few parts of Pirates.

Guess movie marathon is calling... =P

menstrual talking..

As I am groaning in pain at this moment, I am going to ask the very 'old' question..

Why women gets period..

Yeah I know the puberty.. hormonal change thing,

then something bout reproductive system matures..

egg fertilized something then uterus wall implanting.. ovaries..

The cycle.. repeating cycle.. blood.. pads.. tampons..

I once heard a not-so-little girl asking her mommy...

"Why girls get bloody once every month and not boys?"

(okay that's not how she phrased it.. but nevermind)

The answer was sooooo simple that you hate to admit it that..

"Men don't have a uterus, so men don't ever get periods.."

And I almost asked... then why don't men have uterus then??

cobbler-in-making?

I'm sorry that i couldn't bring myself to look into your eyes and "giggly" expressing my "compliments" like, "Wow... nice Prada you're holding... Ohh matched your Jimmy Choos and certainly brings out the colors of your eyes... wow wow wow... aww which I have all your qualities... you're one lucky woman..."

Oh gawd. Foot in my mouth.

I am never good in giving fake compliments or just gloat n bloat n float you up like a blardee oversized hot air balloon. Get a life. A REAL life, I mean.

Don't go expecting me to go va-va-vroom over your new branded bags la.. this la that la...

I mean when I throw you compliments, I am sincere.. I won't just "compliment" you simply making you happy in your way to sign contracts with me, or giving me great credits or whatsoever that you think you're great at..

I really don't know how to "polish shoe" lar.. and somehow lack of interest to take up that course.

Forgive me pls, your royal highness.

Unexplainable

I miss him. Suddenly.

This is normal... but bad.

Want.

I want something that even I find it hard to archieve.

Have a lil faith and fate? Yeah I'm waiting for you to do something.

Oh quick.

the eff one grand prix

Yeah I've got free tickets to the F1 Grand Prix last week.

At first I was pretty reluctant as the thought of sitting there in hot sun, smelly guys... err traffic jams, very far location... risking my ear-drums..

and the fact that everyone going gu-gu-ga-ga over the racers and cars and yeah okay.. incredibly sexy umbrella babes...

Well I went eventually with Raymond 'cos he got the tickets and no one to go with. I so felt like a "filler". Luckily the tickets were good seats.. if not, probably skin him alive.

I was still pretty stoned over the non-reasons why some people are so crazy over these races.. crowding over the cars, pushing around and snapping pictures.. and even buy highly-priced merchandises and souvenirs.

All these thoughts were running in my head until..........

I watched the race.

Okay, now i can get on the fact that it was actually pretty cool watching the race...

The adrenalin rush. The really hot drivers...

but I still don't get why you have to buy that bloody jersey priced of half a K just with a small tiny car brand on the right corner.

Okay... then again.. Some don't get it why women buy LV..

Alright. Fair enough. Haha.

Site 4 hours away on a Sunday?

Working on a Sunday...

All the way to Penang..

Very last minute trip.. exhaust the hell outta me.

Thank goodness, I have great companion throughout.

it hurts worst

She finally said it out today.
She said my name and then said how I've always silently hated her. Oh fuck.
Seriously that hurts really badly as this is what she think of me all these time.

Angry attacks leads to very unbearable emotional words. Some said angry words meant the deep down truth but is she?
I really had enough of all the untrue rantings of her when she's mad. I do not agree with her words sometimes, actions sometimes, swings all the time but all these doesn't mean I don't love her or respect her.

I hate the fact that till today I still can't find a way or somehow something to actually satisfy her needs or expectation on me. It's been a damn long time since she eventually agree with whatever I'm doing/did/my other i-think-is-relevant-but-she-strongly-disagree-kind-of-actions. Till today everything that is wrong or bad is still tossed and turned with some angry-really-impressive-words then landed a huge emotional thud on me.

The effort and actions I made to show my care will always be doubted for a favour in return or some suspicious reasons which really pisses me off. Too much imagination too much emotional words too much negative harsh comments really dampen my spirits. I am really not like that you see. Why is it so hard to trust me?

I am really running out of thoughts.
But a question always arises, "why me?"

Is it crisis?

I guess these couple of years to come will be pretty hard to please by.

Understanding the meaning of "mid-life-crisis" and eventually experiencing it.. very damn different. Experiencing it doesn't mean i'm feeling the "crisis" personally but well, when you have one member in the family having it, I guess everyone living in the same house have to so-called going through it too..

It was bad sometimes. Real bad. All the insecureness, naiveness, anger.

It was worst than facing a goddamnFup client simply because you care less due to the reason their label "client" are merely just strangers only.

Understanding the fact of "mid-life-crisis" where most people (age 40-60) will do experience some sort of emotional transition during that time of their life though I thought 40 was way too early huh?

Emotional transition. Sounds worst than teenager being rebellious.

Scary.