You left me no choice.
Why you always want me to stand in your shoes and think on your behalf??
but you never do that to me.
I know I wasn't there when I was a kid..
but it wasn't my choice.
It was yours.. so why are you blaming me now?
You expect me to help you every time 24/7
as long as you see me sitting around watching tv or on the phone..
but it never never cross your mind that I'm just taking a short break over everything I'm so stressed about..
You never ask me why I am stressed...
why I am unhappy..
you just make the situation worst.
You always screamed what your stupid mind is assuming.. 90% is fake.
then how about me?? I want to scream but I couldn't.
what about my feelings? what about what I want to say..
Then.. thinking again, what I say doesn't matter much 'cos it wouldn't go into your head.
I know you cared at times through your actions...
but I really had enough of your anger words.
They are so hurtful and seriously I couldn't take it. They're just plain nonsense.
I hate it.. I hate it.. but I really can't bring myself to hate YOU.
I feel like running away a lot of times.. but I know it's useless.. sooner or later I still have to face you no matter what shits happen. Reality sucks.. I know it.. you know it.. so just take it no matter how hard it hits you on the face.
No matter what shit u say.. I'll still respect you.
Just don't assume whatever I'm facing in my life is kacang putih.
It might be nothing to you.. but it meant a whole fucking lot to me.
Another thing.. I won't die. I won't be a foolish dumb fuck to go suicide.
So don't expect me to do it. If you want me to die.. easy. You can curse me, kill me or hired someone BUT I won't do anything harmful to myself. I still want to live long to see how I end up in my own future.
I might think that I am old enough to think for my own future. I will ask you for guidance of course.. I am at this age to know how to differentiate between the blacks and the whites but you ain't giving me a chance to stand on my own feet. Yes. True enough I still need your financial help because I couldn't support myself yet BUT you can't blame me on that rite? Unless I have asses that print dollars, then I'll probably give you half my ass.
Seriously, I ain't sulking or whatsoever that you're so thinking I am that kind. Just please.. like a really sad-case begging.. do less talking.. just use your ears more. God grant us one mouth but two ears. Just listen PROPERLY next time before you sentence me to death.
For this.. I will really really really thank you. I.F.M.I.T.E.H.
Okay. I'll try to "lengthen" my patience duration next time.
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