Little thoughts : Sometimes you just cannot act as if nothing happened & just let the day went by. Things are hanging in midair like they always do; why not we just try to figure it out rather than just let it be?? The question is.. Till when?? No matter what the conclusion is, we still gotta face it sooner or later. I had enough of you flipping me like a weather report.
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I really don't know what to blog today. Life at school was okay. Presentation was fine. No one knew we had to produce site analysis slides. Thought was only brief discussion like how we did for EMC. Anyway.. it's all over now. But some shits are really bothering me, killing me slowly, squeezing the last few breath outta me. Everything is like happening at once.. I'm not a dried-up sponge that you can keep on soaked me with.. I need TLC!!!! not stress.. I HAD enough!!!~~
- Raymond's leaving this October.
- Farah's quitting course.
- Finals coming.
- Thinking of 'someone' who soon won't exist in my page. :'(
- Overcoming my own fears.
About Raymond, my best bastard is leaving for NewZie. Sigh. I really really felt it. He was there almost everytime I needed him. Almost not always. Our life schedule is the total opposite. But anyway, realizing that he’s gonna leave so soon really breaks me into pieces. Though we don't meet as often, but I still feel that he'll there for me when I really needed him, and that he's still here… somewhere close. Sort of reachable in a few minutes drive. But now that he's gonna be so far off, and he doesn't wants to come back (he hates it here).. I'm really devastated. I told him that day that I might really miss him like crazy.. I even had tears trapped in my eyes. He just brushed me off, saying.. "No big deal ok?? It won’t make any difference.." I was dumbstruck. Of course it makes a difference. It's like you’re not even here anymore.. I really don't want to undergo the feeling of losing another someone close. We will never get romantically involved but he's just someone really special to me. Though I didn't tell him. He won't believe it cos I screwed him up too much at times.
Farah.. Sigh.. This sexy babe. Really gonna kill her. It's like almost reaching the end of sem & now she wants to quit. Daryle, Phoenix & me.. we did coaxed her & spend every ticking stressing minute to advice her, help her overcome her situation that she couldn't handle the stress. But now she's really giving up. My group projects with her all went down the drain. I'm not being selfish that all I cared was the group projects, but I really want her to stay & we can do this together. She claimed that she is scared, nervous breakdowns, panic attacks, low self-confidence etc etc etc.. the list went on & on & on.. I was like come on!! I'm also like that.. just that I don’t show it out appearance wise. I'm scared but I pushed myself for it. I strived for it because though my confidence is slowing down, but I know deep within I CAN. Who the fuck is not SCARED!!! Design is so subjectivee!! So now.. sigh.. I really tensed up with all the group project deadlines. Damn.
Finals coming.. Fuck it la. Sweat over it or not.. I still gotta fucking face it. So might as well, try to enjoy it.
Thinking? Someone? I'm speechless dy. It's like a soap.. once you hold on to it, it slips outs your hands in no time.. but when you're not ready for it.. it.. just.. I seriously never felt this way for a long time.. never wanted to get it started.. but somehow.. you made me.. I.. sighh.. whatever.. let bygones be bygones..
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I really don't know what to blog today. Life at school was okay. Presentation was fine. No one knew we had to produce site analysis slides. Thought was only brief discussion like how we did for EMC. Anyway.. it's all over now. But some shits are really bothering me, killing me slowly, squeezing the last few breath outta me. Everything is like happening at once.. I'm not a dried-up sponge that you can keep on soaked me with.. I need TLC!!!! not stress.. I HAD enough!!!~~
- Raymond's leaving this October.
- Farah's quitting course.
- Finals coming.
- Thinking of 'someone' who soon won't exist in my page. :'(
- Overcoming my own fears.
About Raymond, my best bastard is leaving for NewZie. Sigh. I really really felt it. He was there almost everytime I needed him. Almost not always. Our life schedule is the total opposite. But anyway, realizing that he’s gonna leave so soon really breaks me into pieces. Though we don't meet as often, but I still feel that he'll there for me when I really needed him, and that he's still here… somewhere close. Sort of reachable in a few minutes drive. But now that he's gonna be so far off, and he doesn't wants to come back (he hates it here).. I'm really devastated. I told him that day that I might really miss him like crazy.. I even had tears trapped in my eyes. He just brushed me off, saying.. "No big deal ok?? It won’t make any difference.." I was dumbstruck. Of course it makes a difference. It's like you’re not even here anymore.. I really don't want to undergo the feeling of losing another someone close. We will never get romantically involved but he's just someone really special to me. Though I didn't tell him. He won't believe it cos I screwed him up too much at times.
Farah.. Sigh.. This sexy babe. Really gonna kill her. It's like almost reaching the end of sem & now she wants to quit. Daryle, Phoenix & me.. we did coaxed her & spend every ticking stressing minute to advice her, help her overcome her situation that she couldn't handle the stress. But now she's really giving up. My group projects with her all went down the drain. I'm not being selfish that all I cared was the group projects, but I really want her to stay & we can do this together. She claimed that she is scared, nervous breakdowns, panic attacks, low self-confidence etc etc etc.. the list went on & on & on.. I was like come on!! I'm also like that.. just that I don’t show it out appearance wise. I'm scared but I pushed myself for it. I strived for it because though my confidence is slowing down, but I know deep within I CAN. Who the fuck is not SCARED!!! Design is so subjectivee!! So now.. sigh.. I really tensed up with all the group project deadlines. Damn.
Finals coming.. Fuck it la. Sweat over it or not.. I still gotta fucking face it. So might as well, try to enjoy it.
Thinking? Someone? I'm speechless dy. It's like a soap.. once you hold on to it, it slips outs your hands in no time.. but when you're not ready for it.. it.. just.. I seriously never felt this way for a long time.. never wanted to get it started.. but somehow.. you made me.. I.. sighh.. whatever.. let bygones be bygones..
Overcoming my own fears?? I'm getting bitchier day by day.. Throwing temper tantrums.. Shit.. Really have to get hold of myself.. I really ought to look forward for my upcoming holidays but have to go through all my finals & exams first.
I feel angry
I want to hurt them, like they hurt me
Make them feel, like they had made me feel
How come some things are so easy for some people
If only things could be so easy for me
That is..
If only..
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